


I Sing This Song At Funerals

by Virtualnepha



Category: All Time Low, Bring Me The Horizon, Motionless in White (Band), Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, You Me At Six
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Crimes & Criminals, Fluff and Smut, I promise this isnt as dark as it looks, Josh is an awful cop but in a good way, Just Give Me A Chance, M/M, Shy!Alex, The kellic is nothing but silly fluff, loner!Jack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-05-12 07:10:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 17
Words: 30,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5657311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virtualnepha/pseuds/Virtualnepha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And the more Jack thought about it, he would do anything to see the brown haired boy again. He'd give anything for this boy to feel for him the way he can see him gazing starry eyed at his book from across the graveyard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacks mom dies. He mulls it over in his head sat on a rock beautifully covered in moss behind the mausoleum. Looking back at it now, he guesses it wasn't such a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A dirty lie none of this ever happened also I don't own all time low or any of these other bands only this story line and crippling sadness haha that's all I need to say to not get my ass sued right great
> 
> Like I said this fic isn't as dark as I described it in the tags but it will have murder, stalking, possibly self harm and all that jazz so if that bothers you you might want to skip it. I don't think it's that bad but then again I wrote it so, hope you like it despite my run ons and overuse of commas. Because this definitely doesn't have a beta. But i'd like one? You can comment if there are any outlandish errors, sorry and thank you in advance!

The sky is grey. Jack thinks maybe sometimes the sun grants us the gift of darkness, on days like this. He didn't want to see the sun, he didn't want to see the sun rise and set and the birds sing and the stars shine. The world hasn't stopped at all. That, he thinks, hurts the worse. 

The service was beautiful, just like his mother, and just like his mother would have wanted it. He smiles a little at that. Not because he's happy, but because he felt he should. The dark haired boy looks down at the obituary and the already fading smile disappears completely.

"Joyce Barakat May 5th 1963 - Nov 22nd 2007"

He didn't like this, and as he folded and tucked the paper into the pocket of his sweater, he allowed himself to feel the loss. He also allowed himself to look around, he was alone. Jack could only guess that he'd been sitting here, pressed against a tree adjacent to his mother's freshly decorated grave for the better part of 5 hours. 5 hours after the tears of his remaining family, 5 hours after the choked sobs of his dad, 5 hours after they lowered his mother to the ground and after the guests filtered out of the graveyard like ants out of a dirt hill. 

There was no point in moving, it was Friday. He had taken off of school to be here, and he didn't want to go home. There would be nothing to go home to. A broken home, an angry father, suitcases. Boxes, boxes, boxes. He laughed out loud a little at that, Bassam never liked him. He supposed he loved him as default, like a father should. But he didn't like him. Its not like he hated him or anything, he just knew that if he thought he was going home to a warm hug, a warmer meal, a chance to pull together and get through the grief as a family- he could forget about it. He knew his dad wanted kids, Jack just wasn't the kind he wanted. He didn't like sports, but he liked boys. He was too anxious and depressed to do anything but fail, and that stood in harsh contrast to his father's own high school career- valedictorian, quarterback, teenage heartthrob. 

Jack remembered his mom talking about it, the two of them in high school. He wished a memory like that was the last he had of her, but it was an open casket. Not for this reason, but for similar ones, he found himself overwhelmed with anger. With fingers stiff from the weather, the young boy picked up the closest stone to him and threw it at the tree opposite of where he was sitting, no more than 10 feet away. He never had good luck, and he guesses that for this reason, the stone bounced off the tree immediately. Letting out a understandably loud 'fuck!', he grabbed his knee in pain, wondering why God couldn't just understand he was having a bad day, and spare him the bad luck for once. 

And God did.  
  
A small person- Jack decided, as he didn't like guessing genders, appeared just slightly peeking out of the back door of the Mausoleum he was resting behind. The small person had to be some kind of angel of dead, he decided. Here to take his mother's soul wherever it was that she was destined. He'd admit he had never put much thought into it until now. But surely this thin, brown haired, dark haired teen had to be a seraph, or a cherub, or any other angel he had learned about in sunday school. He shuffled on the rock a little, still holding his throbbing knee. His heart was throbbing too. As this person made eye contact, Jack noticed they looked sad for no particular reason, Jack had an overwhelming urge to fix whatever was troubling him. So he cleared his throat.  
  
"Uh, hey" Jack tried, awkwardly. He would admit he didn't have much experience with people, or making friends, or introductions, or anything, really. He didn't have any friends at school. No one really teased him anymore, there was nothing to tease him about. He didn't try to talk to anyone, no one tried to talk to him. That was that. It was comfortable, it was safe. For them. But he didn't care about that right now, he cared about the person looking at him like a deer in headlights, and that was it.   
  
So he tried again. 

He tried to stand, hoping to shake this persons hand. To touch them, make sure they were real. He was sure his hands would burn on contact, that no mere mortal was equipped to-  
  
"Are you alright?" Jacks thoughts were cut off by this beautiful strangers equally as lovely voice, as soft as their skin looked. Jacks mind returned to thoughts of touching it when he realized the question at hand was directed to the fact that the pain of trying to stand had caused him to fall off of his rock, and the stranger was now completely out of the door, and peering down at Jack from an aerial perspective.  
  
He gleamed up at this small person, his potential new friend. Best friend, only friend.  
  
"Yeah I'm alright" He said forgetting about his mom and knee and the sun and birds. "I'm also Jack"  
  
The stranger smiled like they really wanted to do so. Jack took this time to at least remember that he was still on the ground, but all of the luck God had mustered up for him had been used on the ethreal being before him, and he fell again.  
  
"Ouch," the angel said with a slight giggle. They stepped forward and dropped to a knee, hesitating slightly as they wrapped their arms around Jacks back, hoisting him to his feet but not letting go once he had a solid footing. Jack held on to this thought, refusing to dismiss it as having to do with the fact that he was wrong about having a solid footing and physically could not stand on his left leg. But once again, his thoughts were scattered when they spoke again.   
  
"Alex" they said softly. Alex, Alex, Alex, he mulled over in his head. Alex. He wanted to know so much more about them, everything possible. He guessed he could start with their last name.  
  
"Alex...?" He urged slightly. The stranger paused for a second, like they didn't know what Jack was talking about, like they didn't know what else was wanted from them. But they continued anyway.  
  
"Alex" they started again, "Alex Gaskarth... The morticians son."  
  
Son, he thought, cool. _Morticians_ son, he thought, very cool. So he gripped Alex's shoulder a little tighter, and smiled.


	2. No Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A routine, disrupted.

Jack didn't have to limp home. 

The inside of Alex's mausoleum, as he'd decided to call it, was beautiful. Beautiful, and seemingly empty.

Alex had kept a hard grip around his waist as he struggled to support Jacks weight that had to be at least twice his. He had helped the strange, dark haired, mourning boy inside. Let Jack rest his probably not even substantially hurt leg on a stone bench attached to one of the walls. He did this, then promptly took a seat on the middle alter; most probably not what that's for, Jack thought. He brought his attention to the bench on the other side of the...tomb? He didn't know anything about mausoleums. He didn't know anything about dead people or funerals, but Alex seemed so comfortable, so okay with it all. Jack glanced once to the thoughtful look his new friend was giving him, and then back to the bench on the other side of the room, cradling what he would guess to be about 40 books.

"What do you like to read?" Jack pondered, and again, Alex seemed confused. Like he wasn't used to being asked questions. He probably wasn't, Jack thought again. He couldn't imagine how much of a social life he could have if, just like him, he was hanging out in a graveyard on a Friday night. He liked it, though. He liked that the boy could be doing anything in the world, but chose to spend his evenings reading in tombs. He almost opened his mouth to say he would do the same, if given the choice, before he realized that he had not been speaking aloud- and was still waiting to hear more about Alex's books. Just as soon as his new best friend was done staring at his shoes.

"Don't laugh," the morticians son said, jumping down from the alter; where he belonged, Jack silently noted. He walked over to the bench full of books, picking up two and sparing another glance back at Jack before walking back over and hopping up to reclaim his previous seat.

"These are my two favorites," he whispered to only himself as he lifted. Them up to show Jack the titles, and, he didn't find anything funny. They were books of poetry, Robert Frost and William Shakespeare. 

'I think you're like a poem' Jack wanted to say, but didn't. He just smiled, because he wanted to; and said, "I like those a lot, too"

•••••

Eventually, Jack really did have to limp home. But not before he got every ounce of information out of Alex he could. Like how his favorite band was Blink 182 and he loved the colour blue and right angles. He felt like he knew almost everything and nothing simultaneously. Jack stored all of this information, thought about it. Thought about it again. He likes spring because he can stay in the mausoleum longer without getting too cold like in winter, but it isn't hot enough for it to start to get the weird smell that gives Alex nightmares. Like in summer. He feels like there's a vault that's just been built in his brain, just for Alex. Just for all the important things about him. He loves dogs the most, he's lactose intolerant, he likes Robert Frost, he's a Sagittarius.. He's a Sagittarius...

6:30AM

Jack can't ever remember being so happy for the weekend. He slept in the clothes he thought he would wear for the next day. He slept in the clothes he thought he would look nice in, for Alex. He wanted to see Alex. He knew his dad would either be sleeping or gone. Be didn't so much as glance back as he grabbed the apple and bottle of water that he had set on the counter the night before along with his backpack and was out the door before the silence could hurt his feelings.

The road to the graveyard wasn't long, and he maybe shouldn't be so excited to visit a tomb full of dead bodies in the middle of a acre of dead bodies- but he definitely was. He definitely has never been so happy about anything in his entire life. He even picked a tulip on the way there, careful to uproot it completely and place it in a small plastic pot he had packed in his bag; hoping Alex wasn't sick of flowers.

•••••

Alex couldn't remember how long it had been like this. 

He had no life, he had his books, he had his tomb. Every day Alex didn't have school, like clockwork, him and his father would come to the graveyard at 5am. They would wait for "costumers" he would call them, that sometimes never came. It was better when they didn't, he thought. It's not good to look forward to death... he just knew what no business meant. He didn't think about it long before he went back to his book by Maya Angelou, absentmindedly eyeing his father discuss plots with today's "costumers" between chapters.

He didn't have long to do this, either. Soon he spotted a freshly farmiliar looking figure on his way toward the tomb from across the yard. He was hoping Jack would come back, but he couldn't afford to count on it. He had a few friends, technically. At school he sat with a few people. 'Kellin, Vic, Rian, Zack' he repeated mechanically over in his head. He liked his friends, as far as he liked people. They didn't get him, they didn't understand why he couldn't hang out in groups, why he didn't want to go to parties. Why he sometimes ate lunch in the library or why he didn't sometimes didn't eat lunch at all. But he liked his friends, as far as he liked people. The point was, no one liked him. Sooner or later he stopped getting invited to parties, all attempts to initiate conversation with him even at lunch stopped. That was okay though, he figured it left more time for books. 

Jack was different though, he knew it was ridiculous to say. He knew it was ridiculous, cliche, nonsensical, preposterous to think a boy whom he formally met just the day before in a graveyard the day of his mother's funeral was just going to change everything about his life. But he could feel it. It was happening, he'd allow Jack to disrupt his routine, if he wanted to. If he wanted to, Alex would let him disrupt absolutely everything. If only he'd keep looking at him like he cared what he was saying. Like he cared about Alex's favorite books, and wanted to read them too. Or like he wanted to come spend a Saturday at a graveyard just to see him, he thought as he opened the door for his friend.

The sun came in when Jack did, and he thought he would never have the same glow about him. Someone like Jack would have to get tired of giving all their warmth and light to someone like Alex, with none of his own. The facts remaied, he decided. He had no life, he had his books, he had his tomb.

But then Jack pulled out a small, pink potted tulip. Alex thinks his cheeks may have turned the same colour, looking back up at Jack who looked like he was the one who received such a nice gift instead. Like he wanted to see Alex today. 

"Hope you're not tired of flowers" The darker hair boy had said.

He had his books, and he had Jack. He had his tomb, and he had Jack. He had this tulip, maybe he had Jack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetad again, I'm so sorry honestly. Also you'll begin to understand the characters a lot better in the next few chapters. It'll get weird.


	3. Trophy Father's Trophy Son

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacks dad leaves, he guesses that's okay too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler chapter, the next one will be about school.

He would always remember this day as being grey as well. Much to Jacks dismay, he wasn't able to see Alex on Sunday. He had to talk to his dad. But at least he could now text Alex and tell him this, he thought. He peeked out the window from his bed, rain. He let his thoughts wander to how Alex would look in the rain. He thought about his hair slicked down with water, and wondered if he would smell like wet roses, if that was even a smell to smell like in the first place. He pressed his palm to the window imagining the cold hard feeling against his hand was that of Alex's palm against his. Then he thought of his mom, of lilies and his dads mouth pressed into a hard line partially covered by his balled fist while he peered into the casket.

He wondered why he hasn't cried yet, then he remembered he never really cries at all. He wonders if it has something to do with Alex, and then he wonders why he wonders so much. With that, he takes his hand off the window, clenching and unclenching his fist in an attempt to warm it back up. He looks down at his hand again and tries to remember what it felt like when his mother held it. The death hasn't set in. He feels like maybe when he goes down stairs he'll be welcomed to her bright smile and the smell of cinnamon. So he scoots off the bed and starts downstairs, because he's used to disappointment anyway. He lets himself remember, that he was trying to forget that Bassam wanted to move. 

"A change in pace," his father had said. "In scenery." Jack nodded, but he didn't agree. So when he had dreaded going home to boxes and suitcases on the day of the funeral- he had thought he was dreading having to convince his broken father to stay in this broken home, just so he'd have a little piece of his broken mother left, and he could put all of them back together like a shattered family photograph. They could get back to being whole again and forget about the chipped pieces along where the picture originally broke. 

He didn't have to worry about it, though. He wasn't welcomed with a bright smile of any kind. The air downstairs didn't smell like cinnamon, it was stuffy. Booze and cigarettes. His father sat at the dining room table, the circular wooden one Joyce had bought when they moved in all those years ago. Still adorned with a white and red floral table cloth the sewed herself. He sat there, looking exactly like a man who had just lost the love of his life, still in the clothes he wore to the funeral- greyish brown trousers and a blazer over a white button up. His favorite pair of black shoes. He looked spent. His mother looked better than him in the casket, but he tried not to dwell on it. He didn't even look up before he spoke.

"Good morning, son" He said softly, and Jack didn't know whether his dad wanted him to sit with him or not, so he pulled back and sat in the chair opposite him Just in case. 

"Good morning dad," He replied just as soft, as if any loud noise or sudden movements may cause him to snap. "how are you doing?" He added for good measure. But Bassam didn't respond. He looked worried, and Jack was about to ask him why when the older man spoke again.

"Jack" He started, "We aren't moving" and he was going to allow himself to be happy, because his dad wanted to fix it. He wanted to stay with Jack and be a family again, or for the first time, Jack didn't know. It was then that he noticed that there were no boxes or suitcases downstairs anymore, everything was just like it was at the beginning of the month. Like none of this ever happened. He thought he may even be able to convince himself his mother was just on vacation. He was about to get up to hug him, to tell him how much this meant because he didn't _want_ to move. He was going to tell him this and about the funeral boy and the tulip and the rain on his hands, when his dad finished his sentence of with an even softer and almost careful, "I am."

And, wow, because _hadn't_ told his dad he didn't want to move. He didn't tell them about wanting to stay in this house for his mother or the boy and his books. His dad wanted to leave him here, not even knowing Jack wanted to stay.

He mustered up a "What?" in disbelief, and his father didn't even the decency of looking apologetic. But he did let out a small sigh before continuing.

"Jack," he started again, "Joyce-" and his father stopped himself. The young boy wondered if that was because his father sometimes forgot they even had a son. He took a sip from the mug of coffee Jack didn't notice he was holding, and tried again. "Your mother," he corrected, "she would have wanted us to pull together, like a family." and Jack agreed. That's exactly what she would have wanted. Judging by the older man was looking at his son now, though, her dying wish wouldn't make make it past the ceiling.

"That can't happen, Jack. I can't go this, I look around this house and all I see is your mom, I see the same thing when I look at you. Maybe you'll understand one day, and then you'll call." And his did got up. Tipping his mug to finish all that was left inside, and then leaving it on the counter for Jack to wash, he walked the the coat hanger with one thing left to say. "The house is all payed off, son. You're a senior in highschool, you can keep your moms car." Jack almost laughed to himself then because that's why there were no suitcases or boxes, not because his dad cared. Because they were already in his car. He watched as his dad put on his hat and coat, not knowing what to say until he found himself standing at the threshold of the front door watching his dad walk down the front steps. So Jack shouted the only thing he could.

"I loved her too!" It was a literal cry for help. One that was answered with the tip of a hat, and the family photo shattered again as he watched him drive away. 

Defeated, Jack closed and locked the door behind him before plopping down on the couch; letting the impact knock the wind out of him. He stared at the wall, because he didn't know what else to do. Just then, his phone buzzed next to him. He picked it up, absentmindedly opening it to his messages.

**Alex 10:26am**

     Hey Jack, how's the rain?

 

And Jack felt fine.

 


	4. A Little Closer Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack thought maybe it would be one of those things. One of those things where now that he knew Alex went to his school, he would notice him. He'd see him passing periods and maybe across campus at lunch. He would say to himself "Aha! So I have seen him!" He couldn't believe that such an angelic entity had slipped under his radar. But Alex had. That was the way it was. That's fine, though, Jack thought. It didn't have to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetad again so don't burn me at the stake

Jack didn't necessarily hate school, he was apathetic and impartial to the idea. No one talked to him, he didn't talk to anyone, muscle memory got him through all the movements of the day. Apathy got him through the forced social aspects.  
  
He thought about this over breakfast. He ran his fingers through his bedhead between bites of oatmeal and texts back and forth to Alex, sprawled out on his dark blue tweed couch. He had to be at school in 45 minutes and he was still in his pajamas- a pair of black and white striped boxers and the shirt he wore a day before. Still smelling like embalming fluid and roses. Just like Alex. Thinking of him, he picked up his phone and texted back.

  
  
**To Alex:**  
  
     So what does the morticians son do on a typical Monday morning?

  
  
He placed his phone on the coffee table as he pulled on the pants carelessly thrown on the floor a night before. He was halfway up the stairs in his favorite flannel and on the hunt for his converse before the faint hum of his cellphone from downstairs pulled him back.  
  
He rushed back, barefoot, to the blinking screen.

  
  
**From Alex:**  
  
     Believe it or not, I'm not always either reading or helping my dad set dead bodies on fire. Haha, I'm going to school.

  
  
Jack smiled a little at the morbid humor. Death, funeral, cremations, burials, etc. All things that were decidedly definitely not funny.

  
  
**To Alex:**  
  
     Oh yeah? Which one?

  
  
**From Alex:**  
  
     The one a few miles down from the church!

  
  
His stomach did something weird and his eyebrows furrowed together a little.

  
  
    **To Alex:**  
  
     Dulaney?

  
  
Jack paused and put his phone back on the coffee table. He shuffled over to and sprinted up the stairs grabbing his converse and backpack, throwing some bananas inside when he got back down to the kitchen. He was almost out the door, before he looked at his phone again.

  
  
  **From Alex:**  
  
    Yes!

  
  
And Jack wasn't one to text and drive so he just sped down the street only twice the blocks speed limit.  
  
•••••  
  
Alex stared at his phone the entire ride to school. Which, granted, was only five minutes away. His mom was driving today and he was glad she was too preoccupied with the radio to notice how upset her son was. Alex stared out the slightly foggy window and took note of the overcast. The white sky sat as a backdrop to the muted green trees streaking by as they made their way to this academic prison. Did it always get gloomy when he did, or is that just the inl time he noticed? He looked away from the window and back down to his used-to-be characteristically quiet cell phone. He wondered why Jack wasn't texting back and he mentally scolded himself for it.  
  
He wasn't Jacks boyfriend or anything like that, they had barely even met! No one owed him their undivided attention, he thought to himself. He thought about it a while before disregarding it as an unsavory situation he  & continued to tisk as himself until he saw the brick exterior of his high school through the passenger side window. His mom paused in the drop off section of the student parking lot, brushing through her hair with her fingers and leaning over to give him a soft goodbye kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Have a nice day at school, hon" she glanced down at her own phone, quickly dialing out a number but not calling just yet "I'll see you at 4:30?" she gave him a warm smile and he returned with one of his own.  
  
"4:30" he confirmed, stepping out of the car and barely having time to shut the door before his mother sped off to whatever plans she had for the day. Alec chuckled to himself, probably yoga. He was putting in the second number of his lockers combination before Jack texted replied to his last text. His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he rolled his eyes a little too fondly as he pulled it out to take a look.

 

    **From Jack:**

     There's a good 20 minutes before first period, right? I'm at the bleachers behind the gym, next to the freshman lockers.

 

Alex wasn't about to waste time texting Jack and explaining that he didn't know where the fuck any of that was because he only just moved here as a Senior, he would find it. He wondered why he didn't care why Jack was here. He never mentioned whether he went to school or not. But as he zipped through a crowd of kids to get to his new friend- earning a few glares angry shouts, shoves, and insults-he found himself thinking about nothing but Jacks eyes. The disappointed that seemed to swim in them when he left the graveyard.

He didn't believe in love at first site, but he guesses now he has to. Now that he's turning the corner of last hallway and opening the industial door and he can see Jack sitting yards away facing where the sun would be shining if the sky wasn't a vacant white. Now that he's speed walking over to the unsuspecting boy silently arguing to himself over how he should approach him. Fuck it, he thinks because he's partially jumped onto Jacks back expecting to knock him onto the soft grass. And why? He doesn't know. He hates being touched and he all but hisses at anyone that tries. But Alex is happy and is giggling until he notices that his friend has just stiffened under him, and he opens his mouth to profusely apologize until Jack turns around all bright eyes and smiles when he realizes just who has attacked him. He _does_ tackle Alex onto the grass, laughing obnoxiously and getting his obviously now poor choice of a white shirt dirty with well...dirt. But its okay because its Alex and he's helping him up and cupping the side of his face just to wipe some grass from under his eye.

Jack notices how Alex's eyes involuntarily flicker down to his lips and return his gaze as quickly as they left it. And, Jack will not kiss him because that would be unfair. Jack knows he's a knows there has to be something wrong with him, but Alex doesn't have to. He doesn't have to put up with a whatever it was that made his dad leave him, or that made people avoid him like he was the human embodiment of the plague. So what he did do is give his friend a warm smile before stepping back to pick up some books that fell out of Alex's messenger bag in the scuffle.

When he looks back at Alex he's blushing and biting back a smile and it's getting harder to remember that he's only known the boy two days. To remember he cannot take this boy and show him how beautiful he thinks he is behind the bleachers. He bites back a smile of his own and links one of his arms with the other boys, and like a gentleman, walked him to class.

This decision didn't seem to sit well with the majority of the student body, who seemed like they felt obligated to meet them with disgusted looks and a few barely audible homophobic slurs. This didn't bother Jack, but as he glanced over to the brown haired boy- he didn't look embarrassed, no, he looked frightened. He began to slip his fingers from where they intertwined with Alex's, but the other boy just glanced up at him with a nervous smile, grabbing Jacks hand with a comforting squeeze. 

If Alex could take it, and Jack could definitely take it, this could work out. He could maybe never be with him the way he thought he wanted but-

But his thoughts were cut off by someone cleaning their throat. Jack met the gaze of someone he'd seen before, but had never really paid attention to until now. He was probably the same height if not a little shorter than himself with shoulder length wavy brown hair, and was covered seemingly from the neck down in tattoos. His mouth was set in a firm line and his arms were crossed haughtily over his chest. Jacks first assumption was that it was a friend of Alex's, who now that Jack was turning to look at, was gazing up at him with a very urgent and scared expression etched on his face. The other boy didn't understand this at all, so he looked back to who he could now safely assume was not Alex's friend, and was now cracking his knuckles.

"Can we..help you?" Jack offered. He couldn't imagine for the life of him why he was being bothered by whoever this was about 10 minutes before class started while he was so quite obviously busy.

"Actually you can" the other dude started. His voice was a lot deeper than he assumed it would be, for some reason. "You can help me understand why you and your friend here are fagging it up in the school hallways."

He looked at Alex, for reasons he didn't know because the small boy was still staring at him like a deer caught in headlights or a lamb being sent to slaughter. And he didn't have time to think about how accurate it would be to describe Alex as a lamb before the what Jack would guess was supposed to be the school bully was tapping his foot impatiently and clearing his throat again. As if the two were wasting his time by not letting him harass them in a timely manner.

And Jack laughed because this was ridiculous.

"Do you need a cough drop?" 

It was obvious the guy didn't like this question, because now he was stepping towards Alex and yanking him up by the collar of his shirt so that his feet were barely dangling off the ground. Only barely because in the next second Alex was being dropped to a slight stumble that Jack figured must have bothered him more than hurt him. He wouldn't know because he only got a millisecond of an eyeful of the horrified look on Alex's face before his hands were working faster than his brain and he was breaking this guys wrist. 

•••••

That was the first time Alex should have been alarmed. He wasn't though, he was leading Jack to his usual lunch table. And happy about it! For the first time. Jack had got out of suspension once Alex made an extremely compelling albeit a tad dramatic recall of that mornings situation to the principal, and Jack was excused with the promise that he wouldn't be getting into any more trouble.

A promise Jack wouldn't even have to think about trying to keep just last week. He never got into trouble, he never did anything. But he would just have to be on high alert now that he new that there were people who would hurt Alex. Alex was too scared for that to have been the fist incident with that person.

Jack almost grimaced thinking of the boys blood curdling scream this morning; but he kept his face carefully emotionless until he found himself smiling back at his grinning friend as they waited for the rest of Alex's friends to join them.

The first to come was a muscular looking person with short kinda ruffled brown hair and a nose ring, who looked at Jack a little confused. With good reason, probably. Jack knew who he was. He had been in this town all his life. Most people in this school he had been going to school with since kindergarten, he just didn't have friends. It isn't that he didn't want them per se. He coincidentally didn't, but that was far from the reason. No one wanted to be friends with Jack. There was never any initiative taken by anyone to get to know him, well, besides Alex. He left himself think about this because it made him feel warm. The stranger waited until Jack was good and lost in his thoughts to speak.

"Hey Alex, hope you're having a good day. Why is your friend smiling?"

Alex blushed thinking of all the things the dark haired boy could be smiling about, and hoped a few of the reasons would be about him.

Jack didn't answer, but he didn't stop smiling either. He extended his arm to this new person from across the outdoor cafeteria table they were all sitting at now.

"Hey, I'm Jack."

"Zack!" The other boy, Zack, said cheerily.

"Nice to meet you, Zack. Pronouns?" 

Alex gave him a deeply intrigued look and Zack was just about to ask him just what the fuck that was supposed to mean, to which Jack would have automatically replied with the memorized opener of the president of GSA's speech on assuming genders- when three other strangers practically bounced over to their table.

Two were fairly short, one was pale with shoulder length and layered black hair, sporting a black tank top under a denim jacket that looked kind of similar to the vet intimidating looking muscle tee Zack was wearing today. The other short person next to him had really nice long brown hair, really nice toned brown skin, and a tie die sweater. Jack would probably refer to them as nice skin person, probably. Nice skin person and scene hair cut dude. They crashed in their seats and immediately began conversation with each other with much-to-fond-to-be-just-friendly looks in their eyes and without so much as glancing at anyone else at the table. Jack smile at this. Maybe he would just refer to them as the happy couple, in his head.

The last person had a buzz cut and a blink 182 shirt Jack felt almost obligated to initiate conversation on before they were sitting down and Alex was sliding his hand along the tables seats to find Jacks fingers and give them a squeeze. Jack thought Alex was definitely the one who looked nervous like he was meeting the other boys friends, something he didn't have to worry about so he didn't understand why Alex was shifting in his seat and looked as if he may be a few seconds away from an asthma attack. His friends noticed too and when Jack realized that everyone was peering at Alex expectantly, he had the decency to look away so as not to add to whatever was making Alex look like he was about to faint.

"G-guys" Alex stammered out before clearing his throat and starting again. "This is my new friend, Jack"

The people turned to Jack then; the happy couple just seeming to notice his presence and giving him a warm but hesitant smile that was identitical to the looks he was getting from the rest of Alex's friends as well. Scene haircut was the first to actually speak.

"Hi," he said confidently "I'm Kellin."

The others began to follow suit when Alex realized he should probably help do the introducing too.

"Yeah," Alex began awkwardly "this is Kellin and this is Victor, we all call him Vic." He said gesturing to nice skin person hurriedly. Vic smiled a little less cautiously up at Jack.

"Nice to make your acquaintance" he said politely. And Jack was about to return the sentiment when his nervous buddy who was now all but sitting in his lap anxiously vibrating started introducing the last few people.

"This is Zack" he explained pointing to the boy he had already shaken hands with earlier who was giving him a kind of bored facial expression now. "And this is Rian" he said gesturing to cool shirt person at the other end of the table.

Rian gave his hand for Jack to shake across the table and he did so smiling, because the last thing he wanted was to scare off Alex's friends with his emotional aloofness and cold demeanor. He didn't care if they liked them, if he was being honest. But he cared if Alex liked him, and this was brownie points. 

"So, Jack" Zack suddenly started, looking a little annoyed if Jacks body language reading was as good as he thought it was. "Pronouns?"

Jack really didn't get why he was so hung up on this but he guessed that the assumption that this dude could have been anything besides male had hurt some kind of hypermasculine thing he had going on. But Jack _hadn't_  assumed anything. That was the entire point.

"Yeah," Jack began. "What you want to be referred to others as. You know He, They, Sh-"

"Why the fuck-"

It was Kellin that cut him off next. 

"You know Zack, when the GSA representative made a speech and presentation about gender identity and pronouns last week." He rolled his eyes in a friendly but annoyed way, "maybe if you would have been listening instead of making out with Rian in the janitorial closet you would know what our new friend here was talking about?"

Zack and Rian both looked at Kellin in disbelief. Jack hoped to God above he hadn't started some kind of domestic despute between this two now obviously gay dudes sitting awkwardly at opposite sides of the table.

Kellin didn't even seem to care, though, he just kept talking.

"Everyone at this table goes by he/him as far as I know, it was really nice of you to ask." And Kellin hadn't said it flirtatiously or even overly friendly, but you would have thought so by the way Vic looked at him next. Jack couldn't miss it, but for the sake of minding his own business he would act as if he did. Kellin on the other hand didn't seem to notice but turned around and smiled at Vic picking the conversation back up where they left off. The other two, Zack and Rian, carefully didn't look at eachother.

Jack couldn't imagine being ashamed of his sexuality, but he guessed he could understand it. He hadn't even really thought about it much before he wanted to kiss Alex this morning. It wasn't urgent, it didn't really matter much. Sure, he could get bullied for it, but who cares? As long as no one touched Alex, there didn't have to be a problem. He hoped broken-wrist screaming dude from this morning remembered that. He didn't have time to seeth about it before Zack just up and left from the table. No explanation, no goodbye, with a good 30 minutes left before lunch ended.

Jack looked around waiting for someone to say...something. Anything! And thank Christ for Kellin. He broke eye contact with Vic to look at Jack and say, unapologetically-

"I guess that would be my fault" 

And how was Jack supposed to respond to that? Thankfully he didn't have to, because Rian was bringing his closed fist down on the table with a loud thump that made only Alex and Vic jump. Kellin just turned to him and gave him a bored expression. 

"You can at least be a little sorry about it!" Rian spat. 

"About what, exactly?" Kellins elbow was on the table now with his check on his fist and he was giving Rian a sarcastic smile he was sure was making the situation a lot worse than it had to be. This didn't seem like it was Jacks business either so he turned back to Alex who was unsurprisingly looking back and forth between the two angry boys anxiously. Vic was just staring down at his food.

"You know Zack doesn't like to talk about it."

"So you're okay with being a dirty secret then, Rian?"

And if it wasn't Jacks business before, it definitely wasn't now. So he didn't understand why Alex was looking at him like he was supposed to say something. But he was, so he did. 

"Guys," he started, rubbing his face exasperatedly. "I really think-"

He was ignored. And cut off by Rian leaving the table much like Zack did. But not without a- 

"You're an asshole, Kellin." And a hard finger to the chest that Kellin replied to with a sarcastic 'ouch'. He honestly didn't seem to care that a third of the table had just left. He just turned and looked to Alex.

"Looks like I just made it a double date"

Jack laughed at that but Alex fiercely blushed, and that's how the rest of the lunch period went. Light conversation, a blushing Alex, a swooning Vic. Jack was visibly disappointed.

He didn't even see Alex for the rest of the day. 

Jack thought maybe it would be one of those things. One of those things where now that he knew Alex went to his school, he would notice him. He'd see him passing periods and maybe across campus at lunch. He would say to himself "Aha! So I have seen him!" He couldn't believe that such an angelic entity had slipped under his radar. But Alex had. That was the way it was. That's fine, though, Jack thought. It didn't have to be easy. He did see Zack around, though. He was everywhere. Now Jack understood why the boy had gotten so upset earlier. He was a jock, he had some kind of reputation. It was no excuse in his eyes, though. He would never do that to someone he was dating or, whatever the case may be. Its not like he had any experience with dating or, well, having a reputation.

He did see Alex after school though, he made sure of it, standing next to the only front entrance and exit to the school. As soon as Alex saw him, leaning against the brick building waiting for him, he gave him a bright smile. Jack wasted no time taking his backpack and books for him. 

"So," he started. "want to go back to my place? I have some movies and probably some bean burritos in the fridge?"

"Well," Alex said, uncharacteristically flirtatiously moving closer to Jack. "I do love burritos, and-" Alex just bit his lip. "I'll call my mom."


	5. In Love With the Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so he peered through Alex's to see if there was anything in his about Jack.

Alex knew there was something off about Jack. He thought about it, legs crossed stretched out on the older boys couch waiting for him to warm up their bean burritos.   
  
He thought back to earlier that morning. Jacks usual apathetic demeanor turning, well, kinda demonic. Like a switch was flipped in his mind, Alex didn't think Jack noticed. How his beautiful brown eyes dialated into a cold black when Blake started screaming. How he felt no type of remorse for this boy as he heard the bones snap in his wrist. He didn't even try to dismiss it as an accident, he meant to do it. Alex thinks he might even have done worse if he himself hadn't of forcibly removed his friend from the situation.   
  
This should be all kinds of red flags,  it wasn't. He was thankful, he was flattered. So Jack was violent, so what? He didn't care. Alex couldn't possibly care less. Blake would at least think twice about fucking with him again. Either that or he would seek revenge, but he couldn't bring himself to worry about it for too long before he heard the kitchen timer go off and his knight in shining armor was walking towards the couch with his dinner.    
  
"Thank you" he said with a smile as he pulled the plate onto his lap and gestured for Jack to take the place next to him. And he did, stretching his arm out to drape around Alex's shoulders, pulling him a little closer in the process. Alex hummed appreciatively at this, wasting no time taking a bite of his burrito. Once be got the first bite down he began talking again.  
  
"Seems we have quite a bit to talk about, Jacky" Jack grinned around the burrito he was currently shoving in his mouth at this new nickname. He quickly finished the mouthful and spoke.  
  
"What would that be...Lex?" And now Alex was mirroring his grin because this was all just too fucking domestic. They were cuddled up on his couch watching a movie, and Jack had made him dinner. He wasn't used to this but he could get used to it, he kind of loved it. Loved the fact that Jack smelled like cinnamon instead of formaldehyde and methanol.   
  
"Well," he said examining his burrito, "you kinda mauled a guy"  
  
Jacks smile didn't even slip.  
  
"Yeah, I guess I did"  
  
And that was the end of it and Alex didn't even know why be brought it up because he didn't care. He just took another bite of his burrito and said "thank you" full mouth and all.  
  
Jack didn't really say you're welcome, but he did slip the hand that was around his shoulders down his side to gently grip his waist. And Alex had to bite back, well, _something_ because he just noticed how intimate this was. And then he felt Jacks breath on his neck and he was feeling like he was going to have an asthma attack again because then he pressed a tender kiss to the skin right under his ear. But only once and Alex didn't know what was happening but Jack was withdrawing and giving him a bashful smile that Alex found himself choking out a breathless laugh at because he couldn't believe he was getting so flustered over a friendly kiss. That was what it was, right? Alex didn't fucking know so he just averted his attention from Jacks lips and the developing problem downstairs back to his bean burrito.   
  
No second incident such as this occurred again. As the hours passed and they swallowed down more and more of Jacks seemingly infinite supply of bean burritos with home alone as the soundtrack, Alex began to notice the time.   
  
Jesus Christ he didn't want to say anything. He wanted to stay right here and possibly cuddle Jack or lure him into kissing him again or fucking _anything_ but go home where he couldn't smell Jack and feel how warm he was and this sucked. Because he had to.   
  
"Jack?" He looked disappointed before the younger boy even spoke.  
  
"Gotta go home?" He asked solemnly, go which Alex equally as solemnly nodded. Jack looked down for a second and when he met the younger boys eyes he was thankfully smiling again.  
  
"I'll walk you."  
  
•••••  
  
Alex wasn't prepared for the drastic temperature change between the nice toasty warmth of Jacks house to the bitter sting of cold outside. And for this reason Jack had him in two small sweaters under a bulky outdoor jacket with a faux fur hood.   
  
"Isn't it too cold or dark for you, Jack? You wouldn't rather, you know, drive?" Alex didn't mind the cold, he was pretty damn hot now. He just didn't particularly fancy the idea of Jack, alone, walking back at 11pm at night. No matter how good the area was supposed to be.   
  
"Don't worry Alex, I'm okay" Jack looked like he knew what he was talking about, and he was sure, so Alex just slipped their fingers together. They were silent as they walked, but it wasn't awkward; just comfortable. Alex's house was a manor of sorts adjacent to the graveyard, and Jack wondered why he never knew that.  
  
He waited until he could see the metal spokes of the graveyards fencing to stop walking and pull Alex gently so that he was now facing Jack. Jack ran the hand that was gripping Alex's up his arm and then neck until it was cupping the side of Alex's face. His other hand was now positioned on Alex's lower back pulling him closer. Jack was whispering "I know it's only been three days" before he was sliding their lips together.  
  
The kiss wasn't lustfull, Alex would describe it as sweet if he could muster a coherent thought right now. Jack wondered if he should take the boys lack of movement as lack of consent, so he began to pull back. This snapped Alex out of his trance and his hands were suddenly tangled in the back of Jacks hair and gripping his shoulder as he kissed the older boy back with everything he had, which wasn't much considering he had never kissed anyone else in his life. That was okay though, neither had Jack who was now pulling back to pepper soft kisses along one side of Alex's jaw as he traced the other with his thumb.   
  
Jack didn't say "I love you" because that would be unfair. So he looked at Alex again. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, so he peered through them to Alex's to see if anything about Jack was in it.   
  
And Alex smiled, so Jack kept kissing him.


	6. I Think I Like It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doomed it was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At this point I know its littered with errors If Anyone Wants To Beta This I'd Be Forever Indebted.

It had been like this for weeks. Alex didn't feel like he had to walk on eggshells around Jack, but almost everyone else did. They _really_ did. Alex had always been bullied. It wasn't a big deal to _him_ at least. It was a huge deal to Jack, apparently. Because whenever anyone made any sort of negative comment about Alex, Jack was right there. Kellin made an off hand comment about how   
  
Sometimes he wouldn't even be anywhere near Jack and when he'd get shoved in the hallways he'd turn around to see who the aggressor was, and the bully would be pinned up against the lockers by a manic looking almost-not-quite-boyfriend. He didn't know, the kiss hadn't happened again, but everything else was the same. They hung out every day, every hour, every minute and second they could. Long enough for Alex to know a lot about Jack's personality by now.  
  
Alex wasn't afraid of Jack. Anyone who was afraid of Jack had it coming to them because so far he hadn't hurt anyone who hadn't hurt him first. That's how Alex rationalized it, at first.   
  
He never had these kinds of outbursts in the tomb, or at Alex's house, or even his house. At school Jack was an angry bull and in private Jack was a swooning romeo who fed Alex grapes while they watched bad horror movies? It didn't make sense. Alex didn't care though  it didn't have to. It was simple to him. In this moment, Jack hurt people who hurt Alex. And no one even tried to hurt Jack anymore. No one even really purposely tried to hurt Alex anymore. If this progressed to something...else, then they'd deal with it. He didn't want to think about it, it was useless. A train of thought going somewhere he didn't want to be.   
  
A train of thought he had to board when he found himself looking to Jack in fear glancing nervously between his love and  the knife he had pressed against the throat of the senior who just sexually assaulted him walking from gym class. Alex knew Danny had thought the fact that there wouldn't be anyone else around this part of school until the next day would be a huge advantage, considering what he thought he was going to do to the smaller boy. Alex almost laughed thinking about how he bet Danny wished the area was populated now.  
  
He had been pretty bold, Alex had noted. One minute he was calling Alex a faggot, which wasn't anything out of the usual until his fist was connecting with Alex's jaw and he barely had time to recover before he was being pushed against the wall. He groaned and the asshole just chuckled coldly.  
  
"Whats wrong?" He had drawled. "I thought you'd _like_ this"  
  
And alright, Alex was feeling a little bold himself. So he mustered up the thickest mass of spit he could and spat it right in one of Danny's eyes.  
  
"Never with you" He said with confidence as he turned to run.   
  
Unfortunately for Alex he wasn't fast enough as the asshole wiped his eye and yanked Alex back into place, hitting his head so hard on the brick wall it instantly made him a little dizzy. He could feel wetness dripping on the back of his neck and pooling before being absorbed into the white Fall Out Boy shirt Alex had spent days begging Jack to let him borrow. God fucking damn it.   
  
Alex couldn't do anything about the hand beginning to drag down his pant zipper, but he didn't have to because he heard another much louder crack. It wasn't his head that time.   
  
So here they were, Alex looking at Jack in horror. Again, he wasn't afraid of Jack. He was glad he was here because who knew what Danny was going to do. He could guess, but as he slid down the wall into a sitting position, all he wanted was to be in Jacks bed. In his arms, not here bleeding in the gymnasium exterior.   
  
He wondered if Jack would take him home early instead of killing this guy. In this moment he kinda felt like a mob wife, watching his husband knock someone off and he was just thinking about his arms around him when he got home.   
  
The guy started screaming and that knocked Alex out of his little daze. Luckily it was out of fear, not pain.   
  
"Shut up" Jack spat, pressing the blade harder on Danny's throat.  
  
"Baby?" Alex tried

Alex couldn't let him do this, no matter how scared and violated he felt. The look in Jacks eyes wasn't blank like usual, he was angry. More angry than Alex had ever seen anyone, let alone Jack.   
  
When Jack turned to him, his eyes softened at the sound of his voice.   
  
"Baby" Alex pleaded, "let's go home?"  
  
Jack thought about it for a second and nodded slowly. He reached into his pocket and tossed Alex his car keys.  
  
"I'll be right there" he said. "can you warm the car?"  
  
Alex looked at him questioningly, trying to look for something in his eyes that would tell him that he wasn't going to hurt this boy as soon as he left.   
  
"I won't kill him"  
  
And Alex just had to believe him because he was already slowly rising to his feet, cradling his aching head as he made his way slowly to the parking lot. Jack watched him go making sure he was out of site before he gave the shaking senior a dark chuckle of his own. Trailing the knife down to his shoulder blade and pushing in.  
  
"Fuck!"   
  
"Now, now" Jack started as he took his free hand and secured the struggling boy against the wall. "Shhhhh" he drawled. "It's okay. Do you know why it's okay?"  
  
Danny didn't answer and Jack knew it was because of the pain, that's why pushed in a little deeper. He was crying now, Jacks hand was pressed hard over his mouth and he knew he wasn't going to struggle because he was scared. He needed to get back to Alex now, though, so he withdrew the knife. The guy hissed in pain and looked at Jack pleadingly.  
  
"It's okay because Alex is mine and he's waiting for me in my car. He's not yours." He flinched and started to struggle again as Jack pressed the knife back to his throat.   
  
"I'm not going to kill you right now. It's okay." He glanced to where the the blood was soaking his shirt at the shoulder. He didn't think it was enough but he gave his word. "Touch him again though, I dare you. You'll regret it for however many minutes your life has left if you do. That's not a threat, it's a promise."   
  
Jack stepped back carefully dropping the blade into the backpack.  
  
"I honestly don't know what you're going to do about this" he said pointing to the boys shoulder he was now holding tightly with his other hand. "But you're going to figure it out and make it look like anything besides something that I did. If anyone finds about any of this, you might not wind up dead but you'll wish you did."  
  
Jack slinged his backpack over his shoulder and followed the direction Alex took towards the parking lot looking back to tell Danny to clean himself up, only to find he was gone. Only remembered by a small puddle of blood on the cement.  
  
"Fuck"

•••••

Alex didn't know how they got from Jack peppering soft kisses along where the bruise was forming on the younger boys jawline to Alex on his back on Jacks bed with Jacks hands down the front of the pants; but he was biting his neck feverishly and he couldn't even force himself to care. He didn't! He didn't care! He didn't care that Danny's blood was smeared on the corner of his mouth and the side of his face from when Jack kissed him in the car. Fuck it he didn't care _why_ there was blood all over Jack!   
  
Jack groaned on top of him and Alex whined under him as Jack got himself off on Alex's thigh and the younger boy ruined his favorite pair of pants. And when they were done Jack cleaned both of them up, and gave Alex some fresh warms clothes.   
  
He loved this, he loved that Jack was protective of him. How he was the most important thing in the world to this boy. The feeling was mutual and he would do anything to prove it, that he wasn't leaving like everyone else.   
  
As he lied on Jack with his head on his chest, warm in his embrace, he thought maybe it was incredibly stupid that he wasn't treating Jack like he was dangerous. Wasn't it? He was going to kill Danny. He saw it in his eyes, he did do _something_ to him, he had to have. He wasn't bleeding before he left. And he broke Blake's wrist. He didn't feel guilty about anything, and Alex didn't want him to! He could be laying with a killer, he thought. He could be doomed to death or worse. So he looked up to Jacks sleeping face, peaceful and well rested and pressed a gentle kiss to his collar with a smile.   
  
Doomed it was.


	7. Happy Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jack stabbed Danny"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like this chapter but and I didn't want to post it but my friend told me to and it's 11:43PM.

Vic wasn't stupid. Well, he thought he may be a little stupid but what he wasn't was oblivious. He noticed everything. He noticed how Kellins grip on his hand tightened when they were around Jack. Like he was nervous. Rian and Zack didn't come around as often, but that wasn't because of Jack. Vic shook his head at the idiocy of it all as he strummed a few chords on his guitar, leaning on his headboard.  
  
He wasn't nervous around Jack, which was weird because he was nervous around everything. He supposed he had a fear of the unknown. He _knew_ Jack was dangerous. Everyone in school did, and Alex brought it out of him.  
  
This was their last year of school and no one heard a peep out of or about Jack Barakat until he met Alex. How he met Jack? None of them knew. It's not as if Alex talked to them about anything, let alone Jack. He re-tuned the strings, considering the fact that Alex has never really talked to any of them, not just because he has a new friend. No one made him, either. They all kinda gave up on making Alex do anything besides read at lunch. It was then Vic realized he hadn't even seen Alex with a book for months.  
  
He wishes now that he was close to Alex, if only to know if there was something going on that shouldn't be. He looked sired to this boy. Alex rarely looked at anything besides his lap or Jack. Didn't initiate conversation. Jack didn't either but he was fairly good at keeping it. It was weird though, it looked like a facade. It probably was. He began strumming again.  
  
•••••  
  
All around school the next day was talk of the stabbing. Daniel Worsnop had come to school claiming to have been stabbed in a mugging. But that wasn't true. No one believed him. He looked scared to be there, glancing around anxiously in the halls. Probably for Jack, if his hunch was correct. But he was clear, neither Jack nor Alex were at school today.  
  
Vic hoped to God Alex wasn't being abused by Jack. Because there would be _nothing_  anyone including himself could do about it. Especially if Vic was right and Jack was the person who stabbed Danny. _Danny_. Danny the school bully who had put kids in hospitals. Kids much bigger than Jack who had almost no muscle and didn't much compensate for it in height. So anyone who could hurt Danny and traumatize him in the process, well, he didn't know what to think about it.   
  
Again, Vic wasn't nervous around Jack. He was rightfully cautious. He wasn't dumb enough to believe that if he did something to upset Jack, that Alex would protect him if he was next on his hit list. And maybe Vic was being a little unfair, because he didn't have any proof that Jack has ever killed anyone. He was positive that Danny had to have done something that would warrant getting stabbed through the shoulder, though.  
  
He refused to think about it anymore. If Jack was some homicidal abusive maniac, now, what could he do about it? He'd ask Alex about it whenever he showed up, and he'd hope for the best.  
  
Rounding the corner he felt hands slip around his waist.  
  
"Hey beautiful" the owner of the hands whispered in his ear. Vic turned his head to give Kellin a small kiss and he smiled against his lips.  
  
Kellin sensed something off about his boyfriend, but he didn't have to ask. He knew. It's all anyone was talking about, he didn't want to be one of them. Considering the circumstances, though, talking about it may be the best course of action.  
  
Kellin wasn't one to beat around the bush, either. Or to be the dumbass that spilled secrets out in the open where everyone their mom and their mom's mom could hear it. So he did the sensible thing. He dragged his boyfriend through the crowd of kids, to the back of the school and down the stairs leading to the basement level. Once he was there he checked briefly but not thoroughly for any staff or security cameras. It wasn't _his_ secret, after all. He was then opening and pushing Vic into a janitorial closet and shutting the door behind him melodramatically and flicking the light on before whispering;  
  
"Jack stabbed Danny"  
  
And, duh, Vic knew that. So he rolled his eyes tiredly and said. "Duh, I knew that." And then he decided they were talking rather too casually about an assumed dangerous criminal. 

He unfolded the arms he didn't realize he had crossed, and ran his fingers through his long brown hair. He figured maybe it hadn't set in that their dear friend- or rather dear distant acquaintance, as he would tell the police if he actually did this, was capable of actually hurting someone. Cutting them to the bone with no remorse. He figured it would be different if he knew for sure.  
  
"Wait" Kellin started, "how did you know?"  
  
Vic felt a little silly because, it was all a hunch really. But he didn't feel silly for long because obviously Kellin had the same one.  
  
"I just guessed, really."  
  
"Ahhhhh" Kellin drawled out cautiously. "Thats interesting"  
  
Vics face scrunched up at that.  
  
"Why?" He asked.  
  
"Because..." Kellin spoke slowly, running his fingers through his own hair and looking at his shoes. When he looked back up again he looked suddenly uncomfortable, which was unusual.  
  
"Because," He started again, "I saw him"  
  
And Vic would have to agree, that was _very_ interesting. Naturally, his face went pale.  
  
••••  
  
Alex didn't know who's idea it was to skip school, but he was fucking thankful. The two were laying on their sides on Jacks bed again, legs intertwined and bodies covered in only briefs. It wasn't sexual, it was loving and soft even as Jack began to press chaste kisses to the base of Alex's throat and the younger boy sighed happily and closed his eyes at the contact.  
  
"What are we?" the older boy asked between kisses.  
  
Alex had thought about it, a lot. Especially since they had began doing _this_. He was waiting for Jack to ask, so he already had his answer.  
  
"I want to be yours, Jack" he said confidently.  
  
"Mmmm" Jack hummed, biting the exposed flesh instead. "You already are."  
  
Alex chuckled at that, pushing at Jacks shoulders playfully so the two could see eye to eye.  
  
"Seriously, Jack" he said, smiling "officially."  
  
Jack beamed at this, lowering his head to kiss the welt his teeth had left on his boyfriends neck before pulling back and propping himself up on an elbow. He was serious about Alex- he would be serious about this, he rationalized.  
  
"Alex Gaskarth", he started, carefully keeping eye contact "I've known you for only a month. In this time you haven't _grown_ to be the most important person in my life, because you started out that way. From the moment I saw you I knew that you were something ethereal."  
  
He paused for a second. Alex meant to ask if something was wrong, but he didn't want to derail this train of thought. Like putting a feather on a balance scale weighing just enough for everything on the other side to spill over. Luckily, he recovered quickly and continued.  
  
"I've never loved anyone, Lex. But I love you so much, it's honestly unbelievable. You're everything" he said moving his free hand to tuck a strand of hair behind the other boys ear.  
  
"You're the only good thing that's ever happened to me, I want to spend the rest of my life returning the favor. It would be an honor I don't deserve, to call you my boyfriend"  
  
Alex really didn't want to cry, but he did because he couldn't help it.  
  
"Just like a book" he whispered seemingly only to himself as he scooted over to wrap his arms around Jacks neck. The older boy let his hands rest on his boyfriends lower back as their lips slid together again.  
  
"I'm yours"


	8. I'd Do It Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His life was getting to be his favorite book, now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another useless and badly written filler chapter in my opinion

Kellin had every intention of confronting Jack the next day. After all he had lost the coin toss, as Vic matter of factly reminded him the night prior.    
  
He just didn't know how to go about it.   
'Hey dude I was taking a nap in my car, woke up to screaming and saw you stab a dude behind the gymnasium. Want to talk about it?' Kellin just hoped _he_ wouldn't be the next dude to be stabbed, as he took his usual place across the increasingly intimidating boy at the lunch table.   
  
Jack wasn't stupid either, he saw _something_ out of his peripherals as he left a bleeding Danny against the wall. He just didn't know it was Kellin. At least not until he picked up on the way Kellins eyes wouldn't meet his for too long, they aways fell back down to his lap. If that wasnt incriminating enough-if you could call it that-Vic was looking at him with a equally determined as unsure expression and, Jack didn't even think this was a big deal.   
  
He was about to say so when surprisingly,  the ever quiet Alex broke the ice.   
  
"So..." Alex started, dragging out the word. But Jack didn't want to break the ice. He wanted Kellin to tell him what he needed to say so he would know if the boy was planning on telling the police, if he hadn't already. Jack wasn't scared, though. Jack wasn't really scared about anything.  
  
"I know what you saw Kellin, what are you going to do about it?" he said bluntly, repositioning himself and propping his face up on a closed fist. He turned to slightly glance at his now looking as if he'd just seen a ghost boyfriend, who's nails were digging into Jacks thigh with anxiety. Oh boy, Jack thought. If Alex was anxious now-before he didn't even know what he had done to the boy that sexually assaulted him at the back of the building he was now slightly glaring at- then he'll have torn his left leg off before this doomed to be painfully drawn out conversation is over and done with.   
  
He thought the whole thing was really overdramatic. And he had time to notice the weather, how it was sunny and bright again, before anyone else spoke.   
  
"Jack..." Vic started, suddenly almost disinterested now that he knew they wouldn't even have to drag the truth out of Jack. That Jack didn't care enough to hide it and maybe if that was how he felt then maybe he didn't even do anything wrong! Maybe it was self defense maybe Danny had deserved it and he was just getting ready to suggest they just drop the entire subject.  
  
Alex cut him off immediately though, fearfully glancing between the three of them.  
  
"I don't know what you saw, Kellin." He said carefully, looking towards the dark haired boy. "But whatever it was, I don't want to know and...I dont think anyone else should know either."  
  
Jack furrowed his eyebrows together at that because, now he was confused. He was a little flattered that Alex didn't even care about how questionable Jacks actions had to have been in order for their friends to hold some type of group meeting about it. But he was more interested in what Alex had thought he was hiding that he just 'wouldn't want to know' about it. A small laugh escaped his mouth he had desperately been trying to hold back, and this pissed Kellin off enough to finally speak up.  
  
"This isn't fucking funny Jack." Kellin said, keeping his voice at an angry whisper.  "We know as well as you do how much of a dick and a bully Danny is. Or was. But you're really out of control you know this is the second-"  
  
"Third" Jack interjected matter of factly.  
  
"Third." Kellin repeated with a glare. Because this was the third time. Jack had taken a swing at some poor guy that _accidentally_ knocked Alex's books down in the halls last week. "This is the third incident where you've blown up out of no where. I know Danny probably deserved it but that's not the point Jack! You obviously have terrible anger issues you're dangerous and you remind us all of that almost every day."

Kellin paused for a second, wondering if he should quit while he was ahead. But no, as he glanced at the reassuring look on Vics face; he knew he had to continue if only to be able to sleep knowing he tried if Alex was the next person to get hurt.  
  
He continued, a little calmer this time. Looking up at Jack, wondering if he'd be able to tell if he was pissed off or not. If he _himself_ would actually be the next one to get hurt. But, no. Jack looked just as bored as ever, but was still giving him his full attention. Alex was giving his lunch bag his full attention, wanting to be anywhere but in the situation he was in now.   
  
"We're actually worried about Alex" He said, earning a disbelieving and almost hurt look from Jack. Alex's gaze snapped up from his lunch bag at the implication. Kellin suddenly felt the need to defend himself.   
  
"You think I would hurt Alex?" Jack asked cautiously.  
  
"Well" he started again, suddenly furiously and uncharateristicslly unsure of himself. "After like three years of complete silence from you, you come back your senior year breaking wrists, punching random band kids and stabbing people?"  
  
"Jack," Alex gasped, swatting his arm in unbelief. "You said!"  
  
Jack just slowly put his hands up sarcastically in surrender.   
  
"I didn't kill him"  
  
"You we're going to Kill him?" Vic piped up and asked in disbelief.  
  
Jack didn't answer because he didn't know, and Alex looked content now so he didn't care. He let his face fall back comfortably into his default disinterested facial expression as he brought the now seemingly pointless conversation to a close.   
  
"So are you going to tell the police?" He asked not quite meeting the other boys eyes, only because he was more interested in smoothing out his shirt with his hands.  
  
"Well, no...."  
  
Jack saw Vic look to his boyfriend curiously at this, and he waited a few moments for anyone to say anything else. When they didn't, he just resumed eating. Feeling secure in the assurance that his secret was safe, with no explanation of _why_ he stabbed Danny. That wasn't his secret to tell anyway, he thought. Maybe Alex would tell them if he was comfortable. Jack didn't really care about any of this. It wasn't a big deal.   
  
•••••  
  
It was so small of a deal that the two didn't talk about it until Alex was cross legged on Jacks couch peering at him fix their sandwiches from the kitchen.  
  
"So..." He started, walking over and placing the plates down on the coffee table. He gave Alex a small smile as he plopped down in the spot on the couch beside him with a groan.  
  
Alex looked up at him expectantly and Jack took a moment to consider how beautiful he was before he answered. His eyes were big and full of joy tonight, his soft brown hair tucked loosely behind his ears and his pink lips parted slightly.  
  
Jack knew if he kissed this- this seraph now that he wouldn't be able to ask what he needed to, so he fought the urge and pushed on.   
  
"Today you said you didn't want to know what I did," He said looking into Alexs eyes, the joy in them had been replaced by a sadness he hadn't seen since the first day they met. So he leaned forward and kissed him, short and sweet but enough to put a little light back in his eyes.  
  
"What did you suspect I did?"  
  
Alex bit his lip nervously, in deep thought.  
  
"I didn't know Jack. That was the point. It could have been anything, and it was obviously bad because Vic and Kellin were both upset! I don't like unpleasant surprises it could have been that you were dying or in trouble or cheating on me or-"  
  
"Woah, woah, woah" Jack cut in, "cheating on you? That was one of the possibilities?"  
  
Alex blushed furiously and averted his eyes to the oh-so-important peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he now felt were being neglected.  
  
"Not a specific one" he lied, taking a bite of the meal. Jack surprised him with a kiss to his full cheek, followed by a serious gaze into his eyes.  
  
"Babe you have to know I'd never" he said sternly.   
  
Alex swallowed his mouthful of sandwich and bit his lip again.

"Okay Jack," he smiled, shifting and turning on the couch so he could maneuver himself into leaning his back onto Jacks chest, sighing lightly when Jack pressed a kiss to his neck "now I know"  
  
"Good boy" Jack replied.  
  
This turned Alex on but he didn't want to talk about that right now. He didn't know if Jack was trying to distract him from this alleged stabbing business- but he refused to let him.  
  
"Your good boy" Alex said, which made Jacks throat a little tight. But Alex was already talking again before Jack could continue the current and much more interesting conversation.  
  
"What did you do to Danny?" Alex asked. And Jack replied with a load groan.  
  
"Tell me the truth, Jack." Alex said sternly.  
  
So Jack did, hoping this would be the end of it.  
  
"I shoved a switchblade through his subscacularis muscle." He said nonchalantly.  
  
That should have been another red flag. Alex should be scared, or, well at least nervous. He was nervous, just...not because he was afraid of Jack. Alex just hummed thoughtfully, because what else could he do?  
  
"No ones going to say anything. Right Jack?"  
  
"Right" Jack replied, reaching behind him to another smaller table on the opposite side of the couch.   
  
Alex glanced at him, intrigued as he pulled a package from seemingly nowhere. Growing even more intrigued as Jack brought his hands around his waist and onto his lap, pulling a book out of the large envelope.   
  
"I assumed you didn't read as much because you finished all your books"  
  
That was partially true, Alex thought. But he read books over and over for years without ever gettng bored of them. He was just busy, and his life was getting to be his favorite book now. Alex's eyes glistened like a kids in a candy store as he carefully took the book from Jack and examined the title.  
  
'The Complete Poetry and Prose of William Blake'  
  
"I don't have this one" Alex admitted joyfully before twisting his torso to meet Jacks lips in a chaste kiss. "Thank you" he said softly as he turned back to the book, letting the excitement of just opening it widen his smile.  
  
Jack tightened his hold, letting his arms overlap around his boyfriends stomach as he pulled him in closer and kissed his head.   
  
"Anything"


	9. Yours. Truly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Done this before?"
> 
> He nodded again, eyes closed tight and hands gripping the sheets.
> 
> "To myself, thinking of you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so difficult. First I forgot that I made the beginning of the story Nov 22nd. So when I wrote "I know I've only known you a month and a half" in the last chapter, I was like holy fuck I skipped Christmas. THIS chapter is only christmas eve (the next will be christmas) but still? How could I do that when I already wrote that Jack lives alone like what else would be doing besides Alex (NO pun intended but there is smut). I've never written smut so this chapter took me like two days don't burn me at the stake okay it's decent but it's not like amazing plus its still unbetad but yeah I'll stop talking now thanks for reading and leaving kudos and comments that's nice af

Christmas eve came around fast. Jack was used to being lonely and bored, so time never flyed by like this. He was thankful for Christmas break, even if it was only two and a half weeks. He was thankful for Alex, he thought as he smiled around a mug of hot chocolate. The two were in the younger boys upstairs bedroom. Jack with one earphone in, halfway covered in Alex's duvet and humming along to the music- and Alex cross legged closer to the foot of the bed, entranced in a good book.  
  
Jack loved coming over to Alex's house, he found himself wondering why they didn't more often as be had walked into the building a few hours before, immediately met with the smell of vanilla.  
  
Alex's parents were gone and Jack had taken a minute to survey his atmosphere without the anxiety of meeting his lovers parents. The house was so cozy, off white walls and beige carpet that complimented the mostly wooden furniture. The couches looked more comfortable than his, soft and forest green. There was a small television in the living area that didn't look like it was used often, beside a small bookshelf that he knew was. Even Alex's room had at least two bookshelves that he could see, he hadn't checked his probably full closet. His walls were mostly bare, with only a few posters and a polaroid of the two pinned above his headboard. Jack felt so comfortable here.  
  
Alex looked even more comfortable.  
He would occasionally look up from the pages if he heard the faint tune coming from the small devices speaker.  
  
"Blink?" He would ask softly, and Jack would laugh and smile. Sometimes Alex would want to read him excerpts of poetry, he'd pause the music and listen.  
  
"In what distant deeps or skies.   
  
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?  
  
On what wings dare he aspire?  
  
What the hand, dare seize the fire?  
  
  
And what shoulder, & what art,  
  
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?  
  
And when thy heart began to beat,  
  
What dread hand? & what dread feet?"  
  
Jack was just getting ready to tell his boyfriend how beautiful his voice was, when someone knocked on his bedroom door. He wondered if it was supposed to be a secret that he was here when Alex chirped out "come in!" and someone Jack would assume was his boyfriends mother was walking in smiling.  
  
"Alex I- ...oh! I had no idea you had company!" She was then sitting on the bed with with them and Jack doesn't think he's ever met someone so friendly in his life.  
  
"Isobel" she introduced, giving him a warm smile and extending her hand for him to shake.  
  
"Jack!" He replied returning the smile and handshake, he didn't know if Alex's family knew about their relationship. If they'd accept him being gay if they didn't know already or If he was supposed to say anything else or-  
  
"Jack is my boyfriend!" Alex said happily.  
  
That took care of that, Jack thought. He didn't know what else to say, but whatever he was going to say was cut off by Isobel pulling him into a bone crushing hug. He hugged back after the initial shock and it felt good to be hugged like this again. He didn't realize how much he missed it. Then she was pulling back and they were all smiling and talking about how her day went, what she had planned for Christmas and how Jack wasn't leaving until the holidays were over.  
  
Neither boy was opposed to this and after their friendly conversation, Isobel was gone again. Off Christmas shopping before lunch with her friends.  
  
"Your mom is insanely nice" Jack observed  
  
Alex just nodded fondly, closed his book and crawled from where he was on the foot of the bed into Jacks lap.  
  
"Your parents are okay with us?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
Jack kissed Alex's lips softly and he didn't think he'd ever grow tired of the way the boy blushed every time he did.  
  
"Your dad too?"  
  
"Yes, Jack" Alex giggled, burying his face in Jacks neck. "My dad too"  
  
Jack sighed contently, placing another kiss to the smaller boys head. He held him a little tighter, truly happy and letting that fact soak in. The position became a little uncomfortable and this is when Jack took the initiative and scooped his boyfriend up; repositioning them both to be lying face to face, side by side. Alex pulled the blanket up over them both and recited the rest of the stanza by heart- speaking between kisses as he traced little circles with his fingers into his boyfriends back.  
  
It wasn't until later that night when the boys were done wrapping all the presents that Jack met Alex's dad. Jack was admiring the Christmas tree, a synthetic one they've probably had and loved for years. Not too big, not to small. Made the cozy house that much more warm.  
  
Peter Gaskarth was a warm, kind man. Alex had wanted to give his father a watch he had been looking at in some magazines his mother had ordered to the house, but the young man would never be able to afford it. That's why Jack bought it for him and put it under the Christmas tree in his name, same with the flowy spring dress Isobel had been eyeing on the next page.

His own presents to his boyfriends parents had been a nice pair of faux leather dress shoes for Mr. Gaskarth, and a pair of pumps to match her dress for his wife.  
  
Alex's gift was easy. It was a set of personalized professional pens for when Alex wanted to mark the books he read in the margins, all marked with A.W.G at the bottom. At first he wanted to get Alex a kindle, but after hearing his boyfriend rant and rave about how much better books were when you could touch them and smell them and turn the pages, he decided to go with another poetry set. This time Edgar Allan Poe.  
  
He hoped Alex didn't break the bank getting his gift. The younger boy had never specified that his family had been having financial trouble, but that's what Jack had assumed when he had been telling him about all the books he wanted but couldn't afford to buy. Their house was fairly small, this wasn't a bad thing. He much preferred the dainty residence to his big and empty dwelling. He dreaded the times when he had to go back.  
  
"Peter Gaskarth" Alex's dad introduced with a warm smile and a warm hand to match. "Is this the boy who's been making my son so happy?"  
  
Jack blushed at this, extending his hand for the man to shake but being pulled into a hug just like earlier with Alex's mom had.  
  
"It's a pleasure, sir" Jack responded genuinely. Peter gave him another grin and a pat on the back before walking to the kitchen to kiss his flour-covered wife. They were baking cake for the christmas dinner they'd have tomorrow. Jack offered to help but was quickly shushed by Isobel, ushering him back up the stairs to Alex's room with a plate of cookies and sandwiches.  
  
Jack had finished half of the plate of cookies before they reached and plopped back down onto Alex's bed. Alex was angelic- sliding under the covers with his newly exposed torso, just seeing him made Jacks breath hitch as he stripped down into his boxers. Alex usually slept in his pants, because he got cold at night. Jack pulled him closer by his belt loops once they were both comfortably under the duvet.  
  
He would never get used to this, feeling Alex's breath on his skin as they lied pressed up against eachother in bed. His lips slightly parted, asking to be kissed. Jack answered- connecting their mouths and slipping his tongue past the other boys lips. He moved one of his hands up to cup the side of Alex's face, deepening the kiss before he trailed his hands down the boys side.  
  
Alex sighed as he felt Jacks hand slip around his waist. Slipping his arms around Jacks neck, not knowing what to do with them. He attempted to wrap a leg around his waist, suddenly wanting to be as close as he could as Jack took his bottom lip between his teeth. It was pretty difficult, seeing as though he was wearing the tightest pants he could find, he let out a small whimper as he felt Jack undoing them. Jack pulled them down slightly and he kicked them the rest of the way off, whining softly as his boyfriend palmed the front of his briefs.  
  
"Baby, your parents" Jack warned playfully, lowering his head to kiss from Alex's collar bone back up into his mouth.  
  
"Jack" Alex groaned tangling his hands firmly in his boyfriends spiky black hair. Jack had to silence him with his lips as he gripped his thigh, successfully now wrapping it around his waist as he grinded against him. Alex was kissing back feverishly now, tugging on Jacks hair and moaning into his mouth. Jack saw this as good a time as any to push Alex onto his back and climb on top.  
  
The way he was looking up at him would be his death. Biting his lip nervously and waiting for his next move. _Trusting_ him to make the next move. He knew Alex had never went this far before, neither had he but he didn't think Alex knew that. He just learned down to kiss him reassuringly, hopefully not conveying that he didn't know what the fuck he was doing either. He kept eye contact as he slipped his hand down to rub at Alex's bulge again, that being what had gotten the most response out of him so far. The younger boy threw his head back against the pillow, placing his handhard on top of his mouth as Jack removed their last articles of clothing.

They slid together roughly but slowly, Alex having to bite down on Jacks neck to keep from accidentally alerting his parents. They were cool, but not 'we're cool with our son getting ready to lose his virginity upstairs while we make christmas sugar cookies' cool.

  
Theyd never gone this far before, but Alex wanted to go farther. This too, wasnt close enough for him. He wrapped his legs tightly around the older boys waist, scratching welts into his back. Jack leaned down, mouth to Alex's ear and let out a long gutteral groan and that's when Alex couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Jack" he choked out "please"  
  
Jack left a hard kiss on the skin under the ear he was just moaning into.  
  
"Please what"  
  
Alex didn't reply- Just lifted his bottom up so Jacks dick slid down from Alex's to his crack, his tip brushing past his tight muscle and making his nails dig deeper into Alex's skin.  
  
"Oh fuck" Jack groaned "Okay"  
  
Because they were really doing this. Jack carefully unwound Alex's legs from his waist, gently setting them back down on the bed and meeting Alex's lips for a soft kiss again. He sat back on his knees to really take his boyfriend in, he was gorgeous. Panting and blushing, coming apart for him. He didn't know what to do next, so he had been reading about it.  
  
"Do you uh," Jack started uncharacteristically sheepishly, "have anything?"  
  
Alex blushed harder and nodded slowly, scooting over on the bed and opening a drawer. He pulled out a small zip lock bag and hurried back into place, putting a pillow under his hips before laying back down.  
  
Jack took the small bag he was now holding out to him, assuming the liquid formed at the bottom was lubricant.  
  
"I stole this from my parents bathroom"  
  
Jack definitely had to bite back a laugh at this, trying extremely hard not to think about Alex sneaking lube out of his parents bathroom in hopes of getting laid tonight.  
  
"Anything else?" Jack hinted. Alex shook his head quickly.  
  
"Just want you" Alex said. This made Jacks heart swell and he shuffled closer to Alex so he was situated between his open legs- Wasting no time coating a finger in the warm liquid and easing it slowly into Alex, if only so he didn't chicken out.  
  
Alex whimpered softly at the intrusion, pushing his hips down onto Jacks finger.  
  
"Done this before?"  
  
He nodded again, eyes closed tight and hands gripping the sheets.  
  
"To myself, thinking of you"  
  
"Shit" Jack whispered, entering another finger. He stretched him for a good five minutes, ignoring Alex's complaints of him taking too long as he introduced a third finger. He hissed at this and Jack smirked playfully.  
  
"See?"  
  
"Jack" he begged "Jack please I'm ready"  
  
He complied and scissored him briefly before he slipped his fingers out of him- coating himself excessively, not wanting to hurt the boy still panting softly below him as he positioned himself between his legs again. He propped himself up on one of his elbows so he could cup Alex's face again. Kissing along his jawline, eliciting more moans he couldn't muffle with his mouth. Thank god for the christmas music blaring downstairs, he thought to himself as he began to push in. He hesitated though, stroking Alex's cheek softly.  
  
"Look at me" Jack requested, so he peered up at him through half lidded eyes. "You want this? You're sure?"  
  
"Yes" he whined softly. "I love you, I need you Jack"  
  
Jack let his fingers trail back down to grip his hip before he met his lips in another heated kiss and pushed in the rest of the way slowly. He found himself again thanking God for loud christmas music as  Alex arched his back and let out a scream he had to muffle with his own hand. Jack could relate because fuck if this wasn't the best thing he ever felt. He wasn't moving, just letting himself feel how hot and tight his boyfriend was. Giving him the chance to get used to the stretch. He would reach for Alex's hands if he couldn't feel his nails digging sharply into his shoulder blades. 

At this point, Alex couldn't talk. It took all the strength he had to let his hands wander down to Jacks ass, pulling him deeper inside him and letting the sound of his groaning make his eyes roll back. This was a response to- "are you still alright?" He talked too much and this was absolutely Alex's favorite part about him. He still managed to pull the covers back over the two of them before resuming his previous position and thrusting in and out of Alex at an achingly slow pace.  
  
He discovered he was definitely into dirty talk, with Jacks breathy "Babe you feel so good" making him mute the moans threatening to escape in his throat by biting down hard on his shoulder as his hips snapped up harder into him. Alex thought he couldn't handle it then, it was nothing compared to how he felt when Jack angled his thrusts and oh yep that was definitely the prostate everyone talked about because he could barely see straight anymore so he just closed his eyes. He felt Jack lean down to lick his neck and it was becoming impossible to stay quiet, so he gave up.  
  
"F-Fuck, Jack. Yes." He whined "Deeper. I need to feel you."  
  
The older boy complied with another groan, pressing their hips flush together and hitting his spot with every thrust. Alex was close, he was so so so close and he couldn't even convey this before he was spilling all over Jacks stomach, all but screaming his name.  
  
A few more rough thrusts and Jack was down for the count, filling Alex up and collapsing on top of him. Jack sloppily wiped them both off with a towel he then threw across the room and the two lay panting and kissing softly for a few minutes before Jack spoke.  
  
"I love you too"  
  
Alex just smiled and pushed him softly onto his side, kissing the corner of his mouth and intertwining their legs. He pulled the covers farther onto them, reached over and turned the lights off.


	10. December Underground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "How many bodies is that?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly all of these chapter titles are horrible and I'm going to change them so sorry if that's confusing I don't see how it would be but anyway this chapter took me like three days to write only because I kept writing stuff and then having to write stuff before it to make it tie in like....christmas wasn't supposed to happen at all and then I was like oh my god I missed Rians birthday dkshakshsjs I got so mad + this chapter got annoying to write so I probably have so many plot holes I don't think anyone is really reading this anyway so I mean if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? Anyways if you ARE reading this thanks for the comments and bookmarks and kudos its been real I hope you like it

He didn't know what brought him here, but after almost a month of barely speaking to whom he knew was his best friend- he also knew that he had fucked up. This is why when he ended up red eyed and weighed down with apology gifts and snow outside Rians house, he didn't expect his friend to open the door.  
  
He did, though. Looking just as confused as Zack was. He didn't even wait for the warm looking boy before he began his very carefully rehearsed apology speech.  
  
"Hey, Uh. Merry Christmas. I'm sorry. Rian, I was wrong. Rian I was so fucking wrong and I have no right to be here outside your house on Christmas and I'm not just here because I have no where else to go. I _don't_ have anywhere else to go but...I think I'd still be here if I did? Yeah." He wasnt good at this but he kept going because he knew it was his only shot. "Rian I care about you so fucking much you have to know that. I care so much and- I don't want to lose you. Even if that means losing my reputation, or popularity or- anything Rian. None of that dumb shit matters if I don't have you, okay? Rian I lo-, I like you so much I-"  
  
"I love you too, I really do." Zack looked at the boy with disbelief, wondering but not questioning how he could be forgiven so quickly and sincerely.  
  
"If I forget about these last few weeks, you have to promise you won't make me regret it"  
  
Zack didn't know if he could promise that, but he did. He knew what a last chance looked like.  
  
"It'll never happen again" he agreed in earnest.  
  
Rian raised his eyebrows at this, but his once again confused expression was replaced with a grateful one as he stepped back and reoponed the door Zack didn't notice he has closed behind him.  
  
"Merry Christmas, buddy. Want to come in?" And, yeah. Zack really, really did. His skin began warning up as soon as he crossed the threshold, he'd like to think of it as symbolism. He'd keep his word, this could be a new beginning for him. The snow melting to reveal the first spring bloom.  
  
The way the house was built, you couldn't see or hear the front door open from the dining room. The house was just much too big. This worked out much to their mutual advantages; Zack needed dry clothes and Rian needed to talk to him alone, when he wasn't freezing. So Rian navigated a shivering Zack through the mahogany built rooms and up the cherry wood stairs to his very eclectic, dark themed room. Zack was pushed into a sitting position immediately and Rian wasted no time putting his gifts aside and discarding all of his clothing, leaving him in his boxers but throwing a clean pair to him and turning around.  
  
He just laughed at this "Really? This isn't anything you haven't seen before" he said replacing the wet pair with the warm and dry ones he'd been given.  
  
"It's going to be different this time, Zack"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Rian took a few more articles of clothing out of his drawers before joining him on the bed, letting the pile fall on his lap.  
  
"I mean no more meaningless random sex and then you casting me aside and ppl disappearing on me because you're afraid someone's going to find out you're gay?"  
  
Zack was actually a little insulted, because in his mind this isn't what happened. But unfortunately it was so he pushed those feelings down. He wouldn't allow himself to be upset at Rian for telling the truth, no matter how much of a tool the truth made him look. Still, though, something was still nagging at him.  
  
He pulled what he then could identity as an ugly christmas sweater over his head and sighed.  
  
"It wasn't meaningless. You weren't just a fling I haven't so much a kissed anyone since we started this."  
  
Rian just gave him a sad smile and slipped a hand over his.  
  
"I want to believe you, Zack. You've got to let me believe you."  
  
"I will" He promised, leaning forward to connect their lips in a quick but sweet kiss. "It's different this time, just like you said"  
  
Then Zack was fully dressed and they were entering the dining hall hand in hand.  
  
Rian pulled a chair out for him at a table most of his family was already sitting, Dawson family gatherings werealways crowded. There were always plenty of people, but it was never the same without Zack. Rian's parents knew it too, a couple of the many immediately greeting him with warm smiles.  
  
He knew that this was the way it must have been for Rians birthday as well.

He had missed it, but not on purpose. He would never do that, no matter how scared or mad he was. He had shown up on his birthday to an empty house, he had hoped those presents mixed in with some from Christmas an the apology letter he had spent hours writing would somehow make up for it.

  
Mrs. Dawson was the first to speak up, her happiness reaching her eyes seeing Zack back at the family table again  
  
"We've missed you, young man" she said with a knowing smile. "welcome back to our home"  
  
Zack squeezed Rians hand under the table, grinning at him then back to his mother.  
  
"It's good to be back home"  
  
•••••  
  
About 15 miles away, Kellin and Vic were thinking the same thing. Amidst the fight between their two families, the two had snuck upstairs.  
  
"Your mom is right though, you know" Kellin said matter of factly, stretching out on Vics bed. "We spent all day yesterday making the tamales, we should eat those before we make my families stupid fruitcake."  
  
Vic layed down next to him, intertwining their fingers and staring at the ceiling in thought.  
  
"But that's a dessert, Kellin."  
  
"Exactly! Dessert comes after dinner, why make it now?"  
  
Vic rolled over on his side, repositioning Kellins arm to be wrapped around him.  
  
"Because no one likes to cook on painfully full stomachs"  
  
"That's true but I still would agree that-"  
  
"I agree" Mike said, bursting in his brothers clearly closed door. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I agree. Hey Vic and Vics boyfriend-"  
  
"Kellin" the two interjected in unison  
  
"Exactly! Anyway Tony's over and Mary is running low on fruit for the fruit cake so. Vic can I take your car?"  
  
Vic just groaned outwardly and Kellin laughed.  
  
"Mary? Since when are you on first name basis with my mother?"  
  
The fucker just winked, Vic tossed him his car keys, and they heard his engine rev not thirty seconds later.  
  
"He isn't obnoxious on purpose" Vic promised  
  
"I like him!" Kellin said sincerely  
  
Vic just gave him a seductive smile, swinging his legs over Kellins waist to straddle him.  
  
"Not more than me, I hope" he said playfully.  
  
"Hmmmmm" Kellin hummed in mock thought "I don't know."  
  
"Well maybe I can influence your decision a- wait!"  
  
"What?" Kellin asked. Vic was already climbing off of him and moving quickly to pull something out of his closet. It was his guitar and he- more carefully this time -returned to his previous position of straddling Kellin, cradling the instrument. Kellin raised his eyebrows with a smile.  
  
"Are you gonna seranade me?"  
  
"Actually, yes" Vic said, fidgeting on Kellins lap. He gave his boyfriend a nervous look and strummed the first chord.  
  
The song was one Kellin recognized from Vic's lyric book. The tune was smooth and melodic, and like always Vics voice fit into it perfectly. Kellin was having trouble focusing on the lyrics at all, sedated and lost in the melody.  
  
Vic always looked so at peace when he sang and played, and Kellin found himself staring. They way his mouth formed around the words, his rough fingers creating the softest sound.  
  
He was staring intently at Vics lips, but he still barely noticed when he cleared his throat.  
  
"Ahem." He said, unimpressed. He rotated slightly to set his guitar down and out of the way, leaning on the outside of the beds footboard.  
  
Kellin grinned sheepishly and snaked his hands up to firmly grip Vics waist.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You weren't even listening!"  
  
"I was!"  
  
"Tell me one lyric I sung."  
  
He had him there.  
  
Vic sighed exasperatedly, moving to climb off of Kellins lap. Kellin was quicker though and flipped him so that Vic was on his back with Kellin devilshly grinning above him.  
  
"Get off, Kellin."  
  
"Not until you tell me you believe that I was listening!"  
  
Vic sighed again in defeat.  
  
"I was listening I was just staring at your mouth."  
  
Vic stared up at him in disbelief, annoyance still etched on his face. "Really? My lips?"  
  
"Yeah" Kellin confirmed, tilting his head and leaning down to trail his tongue along  Vics bottom lip. "They're nice" he took his lip and bit down softly.  
  
Vic couldn't ever be _that_ mad, so he groaned into Kellins mouth, kissing back roughly.Kellin took this as an invitation and started on removing the other boys shirt.  
  
"Wait!" Vic said scrambling from under his boyfriend and reaching towards the nightstand.  
  
"What _now_?" Kellin groaned, of course until he saw his boyfriend opening the first compartment of his small dresser.  
  
Kellin smirked. He maneuvered back into a sitting position on Vics bed, leaning back against the wall with his arms crossed behind his head.  
  
"A little eager, aren't we?"  
  
Vic just turned around and scoffed back at him, holding back an incredulous laugh.  
  
"Unbelievable" he said, pulling his cell phone out of the top drawer. "We forgot to wish our friends a Merry Christmas, you tool."  
  
The boys went to work sending all their friends their Christmas well wishes, but they only had about ten. So soon Vic tossed his phone back in the drawer, not willing to be distracted by the task at hand.  
  
"Done!" He chirped happily.  
  
Kellins devlish smile was back. "Great," he said, slipping his hand to his boyfriends thigh "now we can pick up where we left off."  
  
"Yes" Vic agreed, crawling over Kellin to retrieve his guitar a second time. "Let's try this again."  
  
•••••  
  
Jack and Alex stared at their phones in amusement, sitting comfortably on the couch, waiting patiently for the festivities to begin. One hundred emojis and a few Christmas well wishes lit up the screen-  
  
**From Vic**  
  
     Merry Christmas from Kellin and Vic!       Use protection! Stay in school! Stay out of prison!  
  
**From Vic**  
  
     This is Vic the no prison part was from Kellin don't hurt me  
  
**From Vic**  
     This is Kellin  & It was a joke good to know my boyfriends not loyal xoxo merry xmas  
  
They both typed out quick responses and Alex was about to suggest they put their phones away before Mrs. Gaskarth did it for them, fondly plucking their devices from them and replacing them with candy canes.  
  
She rolled her eyes fondly.  
  
"You teenagers and your cell phones. Get in the Christmas spirit!"  
  
They could probably take a lot of notes about the 'Christmas spirit' from her, Jack thought. Now that he was taking a good look, he discovered she was dressed like Mrs. Santa. Before he could wonder, Mr. Gaskarth indeed walked in in a Santa Claus suit. So they were _those_ kind of parents. Jack loved it.  
  
Peter was holding what seemed to be two elf hats, with the ears attached, and this suspicion was confirmed when his wife took them from him and promptly put them on both boys.  
  
"Perfect!" She exclaimed, appeased.  
  
Alex waited until his parents went back to the kitchen to give his boyfriend an embarrassed smile.  
  
"I love your family" Jack said  
  
Alex clasped their hands together and scooted closer to him on the couch.  
  
"Our family" he said, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Jacks lips.  
  
Tears threatened to form at his eyes, but Jack didn't cry. He didn't. He kissed back, not having the words to convey how he felt, how it felt to belong and be loved. After all this time.  
  
Mrs. Gaskarth didn't clear her throat when she walked in and found them like this. She just came in, giggled, and started taking like they weren't.The boys still pulled away out of instinct.  
  
"Time for presents!"  
  
Jack and Alex immediately moved from their places on the couch to floor seats next to the tree. Alex thought it was like Jack was always here, couldn't imagine him not being here for this as he watched his face light up with the excitement when he was handed his fist but unfortunately his only present.  
  
It wasn't unfortunate to Jack, though. He was elated! Alex's parents wanted Jack to open his gifts first, Alex wanted him to go last.  
  
Alex won. Mrs. Gaskarth went first, crying while opening her new dress and shoes, along with the costume earrings Peter had bought her and immediately dialing her friends to make plans to wear them. Her husband was next, laughing and smiling jovially at his smart looking shoes and watch. He ruffled the boys hair and thanked them heartily, shuffling to the kitchen to put away the mug Alex had _actually_ got him, and the coffee set his wife had bought to go with it.

Alex had got his mother floral stationary, the ones she would write her party invitations on from now on.  
  
"How did you afford them?" Alex's parents had both asked, gaping at his gifts Jack had snuck under the tree.  
  
He blushed & replied truthfully, "I don't know"  
  
Alex looked at his gift from Jack for a long time. His parents had gotten him some posters, and he was thankful because his walls were bare. But Jack...Jack. He turned the pens over in his hand, looking at his initials scrawled on the bottoms. He took one of the pens, and his new book, and almost wrote his name on the inside.  
  
Almost.  
  
He turned to Jack, and handed him the pen and open book. Jack just looked at him, not knowing what he wanted, not quite sure why he was being handed his gifts back. Alex cleared his throat softly, like there was actually something in it and spoke just a bit softer than the noise had been.  
  
"Can you uh, inscribe it? For me?"  
  
Jack grinned at this and took the book into his lap, holding the pen firmly in his hand.  
  
'From Jack, with love,' he wrote, 'always'  
  
Jack leaned forward to kiss a little tear that dripped from Alex's eyes, holding the book closed so the ink wouldn't bleed. Alex tilted his head up to capture Jacks lips until his parents came back to open his present.  
  
It was a guitar. They'd all pitched in to buy Jack a guitar. It was a nice one, too. Pure purple and acoustic. He turned it over, examining it slowly but enthusiastically.  
  
"You guys..." He started quietly "wow you, I haven't played guitar in probably...probably 5 years. I've never had one of my own"  
  
"I know!" Alex said happily "That's what I was telling them, that you'd totally want a guitar. We did good? You only mentioned it in fleeting so-"  
  
"Alex" Jack interjected, tears stinging his eyes again. "This is so perfect you're so-" He wouldn't cry, he refused to cry. He looked at Alex's beaming parents.  
  
"Thank you so much"  
  
Jack couldn't get another syllable out before he felt himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug. Mrs. Gaskarth had a grip like a cobra but Jack didn't mind, Alex waited until his parents were checking on the pie before he tackled Jack into another kiss.  
  
Dinner wasn't awkward, as Jack was nervous about it being. He and Alex's family sat around the small dinner table, set for six. There were two empty chairs, one with a picture in place of where the plate would be. The person in the photos was young, looked like maybe an older buffer version of Alex. Jack didn't ask or comment because that would be rude. He looked back to his boyfriend and smiled again.  
  
Jack learned the Gaskarth's were religious, he thought that made a lot of sense if only because it would be very hard to be around death constantly and not think about what happens after your own. Alex didn't appear to be religious, though, giving Jack bedroom eyes from where he sat directly across from him while his parents prayed over the food.  
  
"Amen" Peter Gaskarth said.  
  
The rest of the room parroted the same. Jack was just about to dig in dessert first when Alex spoke up again.  
  
"Hold on!" He said, rising from the table and running off before Jack could follow. It was alright though because there wasn't enough time for the situation of being alone with Alex's parents for the first time to become awkward because he was back and holding something.  
  
Alex glanced at Jack with an equally cautious and nervous smile. He placed the something next to the picture frame at the end of the table, in front of the sixth empty seat.  
  
It was Jacks mother. A small sepia photograph of her, Jacks favorite. He remembered the day it was taken because he took it himself.  
  
"I hope you don't mind that I looked through your phone. I know this one's your favorite" Alex said walking back to and sitting at his chair. He reached his hand palm up across the table and Jack took it with a squeeze, and then he cried.

•••••

Sunday came just as peacefully. They woke uo tangled tight in eachothers arms, and now as they were accustomed to doing- the boys were making out on the mosuleums preparation alter. Alex on his back and Jack between his legs, holding one of them around his waist as he connected his lips to Alex's collar bone. Jack grinded down against him and he let out a load groan. Only as Alex felt Jack undoing his zipper did he fully remember where they were.  
  
"You want to do this on a table where we embalm corpses?"  
  
Jack had to laugh as he hopped off of Alex and the alter.  
  
"I guess not" he said, holding a hand out to help his disheveled boyfriend into a sitting position. "I don't have anything, anyway"  
  
He slid his hand up Alex's shirt as he leaned back in to plant another kiss on his neck, earning another groan from the boy.  
  
"Well you wouldn't _need_ anything but- Jack. My dad"  
  
"What?"  
  
As if summoned, Mr. Gaskarth then appeared at the threshold of the tomb. Looking just as disheveled as his son, but not at all phased by the incriminating situation he had walked into.  
  
"Son, I'd ask to speak to you alone; but this situation apparently effects all of us."  
  
This made Jack nervous, but he was less nervous than he would be if Alex's dad was angry. He didn't look angry, he looked tired. Much different than the jovial man he had sung Christmas carols with the night before.  
  
"Yes sir" Jack replied cautiously, even though the man wasn't exactly looking at him yet.  
  
"We might have to move back to England."  
  
Jack didn't react because he didn't believe it. Alex, though, Alex went completely pale. His dad kept talking.  
  
"The saddest part about this business should be the loss of life. But it is a business, you know. Death is our business." He looked down at his nails and sighed again. "Business isn't good."  
  
Alex spoke up then.  
  
"Dad we can't"  
  
"I know, Alex. The only chance we have of staying in America is if we can get enough money to build a church. People will be more willing to bury their loved ones in a graveyard that isn't so... Vacant. Your mother and I don't want to go back any more than you do. The fact of the matter is we have about a month. It would cost us about $60,000"  
  
So Alex was crying now, and his father was rubbing his back soothingly. Jack hadn't noticed him move, he was thinking of a way out. _Any_ way out. If Alex could move in with him, if he could move in with Alex. He didn't even know how his bills were getting paid now and like the man had said they didn't _want_ to go back to England.  
  
He thought about his mother and his father, how that was a family that could never have been put back together. How this one was. This was _his_ family now. Like Alex said. They loved him and cared about him like he was their own son. He'd never had that, he would never have it again. He looked at Alex, took in his sadness and fear and he knew that there really was only one thing to do. He took in a deep breath.  
  
"I don't want to be morbid or anything," he spoke, causing both Alex and his father to look at him with matching, sad questioning stares. "How many bodies is that?"


	11. Venial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good, not great. But it was enough. It had to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow update things are so hectic kfhshsndudhdb not betad again sorry if I offended anyone religious that's not my intention and yes I added Fransykes I honestly had to its my calling
> 
> Thanks for the comments and kudos!

"Believe it or not, Jack. Some things just aren't a joke."  
  
Jack shook his head with a smile, turning to tsk at his giggling boyfriend. He already missed winter break.  
  
"Again" he said, looking back to Kellin "I didn't even say it."  
  
He was ignored and like always, Kellin talked over him.  
  


"'Jack says you're next' I mean from  _anyone_ ... _to_ anyone- " 'you're next' is a fucking scary text to receive? And on Christmas? As a response to a joke about _prison_? Especially considering..."

  
Jack grinned wider "Considering what?"  
  
"Nothing!" Kellin replied "Forget it."  
  
Jack agreed because it actually just wasn't even that important.  
  
"Anyways" Jack started. "I have something to tell you"  
  
Kellins face contorted into a frown immediately   
  
"Nooope nope nope nope" He said, waving his hands dramatically before draping one of his arms around an also giggling Vic. "Don't tell me anything. That way it can't be interrogated out of me."  
  
Jacks eyebrows raised at this.  
  
"That's actually really considerate, Kellin."  
  
"Oh its not for you, Jack." He stated honestly before motioning between him and Vic with his free hand "We don't want to go to prison as accomplices"  
  
Jack shook his head and chuckled "With friends like these"  
  
He reached into a messenger bag on the floor at his feet, pulling out a small stack of papers and looking up at Kellin again as he handed them over.  
  
"Nothing incriminating here, asshole. Mrs. Glenn just wanted me to tell you that 'F' stands for 'fail' and not 'fantastic'."  
  
Kellin looked at the english papers with a deep frown, mock examining the grade.  
  
"Is she sure?"  
  
Jack leaned back in his chair, laughing around a baby carrot. "She's so sure, that she wants you to come in today, and every other day this week after school for make up and extra credit."  
  
Kellin groaned loudly, rolling his eyes as he stuffed the papers sloppily into his backpack. Vic met Kellins eyes with a playful glare.  
  
"And to think we had a date tonight."   
  
"Well don't blame me" Kellin exclaimed, resuming flailing his arms about dramatically. "It's Mrs. fucking Glenn who- oh nice here comes Zack and Rian!"  
  
As if cued to do so, the four friends turned to welcome the newest- oldest -editions to the table. A more confident looking Zack, previously holding onto Rians hand, was now holding out a chair for Rian to sit down.  
  
Alex awed at this, being a hopless romantic at heart, and rolled his eyes at Kellins toothy grin. He thought Kellin would at least have enough respect to not make it awkward.  
  
Unlike Jack, head in hands bracing for impact; Alex was frequently wrong.  
  
"Oohhhh" Kellin trailed, now beaming at the pair mischievously. "This is new"  
  
Zack just scratched the back of his neck and Rian choked out a nervous laugh as he nodded in conformation.  
  
This wasn't enough for Kellin, though. Seemingly now the only comfortable person at the table. He detached his lips from where they were curled around his smoothie straw.  
  
"So who tops?"  
  
This made Alex look to Jack uncomfortably, as he was accustomed to doing. Rian coughed mid sip of shitty off-brand cafeteria soda and Vic held back a laugh as he swatted his boyfriends thing. Zack was a blushing bride at this point and Jack couldn't take the way Alex's eyes were boring into him pleadingly.  
  
"Kellin just wants us all to forget that his bad grades cost him his date night."  
  
Alex let out a long sigh of relief as the focus was shifted back to a now glaring Kellin. Zack mouthed a silent thank you to Jack and he gave him a small smile and nod back. Vic narrowed his eyes at Kellin again, crossing his arms determinedly.  
  
"It was pizza night."  
  
Jack bit back a laugh at the domesticity of it all. All six teenagers kind of just like old married couples on a double date- triple date? Jack wasn't too caught up in the technicality of it.   
  
His train of thought was derailed as he noticed a stranger quickly advancing to their table. He wasn't that much of a stranger, though. Jack knew who he was, he'd heard of him. He was one of the only openly gay people at the school that _didn't_ get shit for it. No one dared,really, and Jack couldn't blame them. What with Olivers boyfriend being Josh Franceschi, the angry, aggressive quarterback. Oliver looked like the scary one, littered in tattooes as far as the eye can see, who knows how he even payed for them he couldn't be any older than 17. He looked it too. He was boyish though, not very masculine. Shoulder length wavy brown hair and soft hazel eyes. Jack gave him a smile as he plopped next to him at the table, Alex's grip on Jack's thigh instinctively tightened.   
  
"Hey all!" Oliver greeted cheerily, thick accent dropping off the words. His eyes met Kellins briefly with a look Jack couldn't quite put his fingers on. Very briefly though, as his face was splitting back into a smile again.  
  
"So as you've all heard or might not 'ov heard I don't know, Joshies having a bit of a do on saturday." He paused noting the confused expressions around the table. He chuckled lightly and tapped his nails on the wood of the table.  
  
"A party, ya prats."  
  
Jack already knew the answer was no. He didn't care about party's, but Alex /hated/ them and he knew if he went Alex would feel obligated to go and he didn't want that. He didn't much like the idea of going much of anywhere without Alex, anyhow. He was just opening his mouth to say so when he was traditionally cut off by Kellin.  
  
"Yeah you bet your posh ass we'll be there." Jack was surprised to see that this was spat out through gritted teeth. Vic looked a little agitated and Oliver just smiled bigger.  
  
"Smashing." He grinned, laughing again. "Well I'll just piss off now, Josh worries. See you Saturday around 9pm, Kellin knows how to get there for sure." He left as quickly as he came, patting Zack on the back as he left. Zack smiled and mumbled a goodbye that wasn't quite awkward, just quiet. They must be friends, Jack thought. After all, Zack did football too.  
  
Jack wasn't going to ask what any of that was about, because it wasn't his business. That was his motto, _mind your business_. He was sticking to it, it had gotten him along thus far. He didn't have to wonder long though, as Kellin was seething and didn't bring his voice down to a hush or even check to make sure Oli was fully gone before he started ranting.  
  
"Can you honestly believe that guy?!"  
  
Vic still looked a little uncomfortable, and Rians curiousity got the best of him.  
  
"What was that about?"   
  
Vic answered for his boyfriend, stabbing lightly at a cherry tomato on his salad.  
  
"Kellin hates him and I can't even remember why. I don't even think Kellin remembers why! We all used to be best friends in like, 9th grade when be first moved from Sheffield. I've been banned from 'fraternising with the enemy'" he said sarcastically in airquotes.   
  
Kellin looked at Vic incredulously.   
  
"Well your loyalty is to me! Not that...tea drinking scone eater. I hate him."  
  
Rian laughed and Zack was just glancing around the table, looking tired and amused.  
  
"But you told him we're all going to be at the party" Rian pointed out.  
  
"Yes. All of you have to go."  
  
Alex groaned. He groaned loudly and exasperatedly to which Kellin replied with a stern expression. He just rolled his eyes.  
  
"I hate parties and I'm not going."  
  
"Alex please I never ask you for anything"  
  
Lies! Lies! Lies! Kellin always asked him for shit! Alex will you help me with my homework? Alex can you convince Vic to stop being mad at me? Alex when you die can I have your flag pants?  
  
"You ask me for everything."   
  
"Fine Alex but just this _one_ thing! Jack can come!" He turned to Jack then. "Wait you won't like beat up anyone at the party right?"  
  
Alex narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Don't be mean to Jack."  
  
"I'm not! I'm just saying he's not the friendliest-"  
  
"Those guys had it coming." Alex argued.  
  
"Alex I jokingly called you fat last month and he almost took a swing at _me_!"  
  
Jack laughed at this because he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault he found it so funny and it wasn't his fault he was so protective over Alex! Still, he was fixed with a pointed glare from Kellin that made him roll his eyes fondly and mumble out anotherapology. This apparently didn't do the trick, as Kellin was still shooting him a pointed glare.   
  
Jack put his right hand over his heart, raised the left one, cleared his throat and gave him back the most bored expression he could.   
  
"I, Jack Bassam Barakat solemly swear-"  
  
"That you're up to no good?"   
  
Jack barked out a loud laugh and pushed his nerdy boyfriend slightly before putting his hand back and letting the serious expression return to his face.  
  
"That I am up to no good."  
  
• • • • •  
  
Jack was supposed to be out on a late night coconut ice cream run for Alex. It was a good alibi, not a great one. It had to be enough. The walk was 30 minutes there and 30 minutes back, so that's what Alex was expecting. Alex didn't expect Jack to make a detour to get his old bike.   
  
He glanced nervously down at his watch  
  
_11:57pm_  
  
He was walking through the narthex into the nave of the church he'd pedalled at full speed 20 minutes to get to. He just couldn't think about this. He thought about sitting down, trying to pray. But he knew he couldn't dwell, not if he wanted to keep Alex. He advanced to the alter, collecting the Bible's and crosses he saw. Hoping it was at least a little less than a mortal sin, if he saved them. He checked the sanctuary briefly, remembering he couldn't _afford_ to dwell. Alex. Alex. Alex. He made his way back to alter, carefully avoiding the gazes of the murals behind him.   
  
_12:15am_  
  
He pulled a small lighter out of his back pocket, kneeling down to let the fire kiss the wood with a flick of his thumb. He crossed himself and mumbled an apology to the painting of Mary he clumsily let his eyes fall on. He backed away slowly before running out.  
  
He was gone long before the building burst into flames.   
  
_12:29am_  
  
"Hello how can I help you?" The cashier greeted with a sickly sweet smile.  
  
Jack forced a smile back, not wanting to be picked up as 'the weird costumer that came in late at night and looked worried about something' yeah that would definitely come back to bite him in the ass later. He pushed the ice cream on the counter and waited patiently to be rung up.  
  
"Paper or plastic?"  
  
"Paper, please" He replied politely.  
  
"Would you like a receipt?"  
  
"Yes, thank you." He _needed_ a receipt.   
  
The key turned in Alex's front door quietly, the last thing he needed was to wake his boyfriends parents. He locked the door back and slowly made his way up to the room he was so farmiliar with.  
  
_12:34am_  
  
He smiles at the time frame. He almost broke his neck trying to get back within the hour, pedalling twice as fast to account for the time it took to hide the bibles and dump the bike. He'd get them later. What mattered now was the beautiful boy sleeping peacefully, curled up under the blankets. Jack couldn't bear to wake him, but he had to. He crept back to the kitchen,  placing the ice cream in the freezer and making his way back to the room. He stripped down to his boxers and crawled beside him, pressing his chest to the boys back. Alex woke up slightly at the contact, he rolled over to face Jack, placing a lazy kiss to him lips.   
  
"You're back" he croaked, probably exhausted.  
  
"I'm back" Jack confirmed.  
  
Alex slid his arms around the older boys neck, too tired for ice cream now so intertwining their legs together.  
  
"What time is it?" Alex yawned.  
  
Jack smiled a little sadly because that's exactly what he needed his boyfriend to ask him. Good, not great. But it was enough.  
  
"12:40am"


	12. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex peered Into Jacks eyes deepy for any sign of anger before continuing. He didn't find it, he never did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments so much y'all don't even know. Its on mibba too if you prefer reading it there! I think I'm still forrestkline there too and the titles the same sorry I'm rambling jsvhshs I kind of want to make kellin come out as agender. It won't be a big thing because I think we need more fics where being trans isn't the focus of stories, I think that's a good step to normalizing it but even beyond that I can see the gender queer Kellin rn?? I probably won't idk what do you guys think?
> 
> Also still unbetad ALSO how the fuck do you get views on wattpadd oh my god 
> 
> Well that's enough talking enjoy my awkward smut & obsessive possessive Jack <3

In Jacks expert opinion, the party was lame. But Josh was funny. Alex didn't agree, looking extremely bored from where he sat next to him on the ratty loveseat in Josh's basement. They would leave soon. If they didn't, Alex's not so incognito sighing would become so loud it would drown out the generic techno blasting through the house.  
  
Jack rolled his eyes fondly at his unamused partner as he brought his punch cup up to his lips. It was moments like this he liked to observe how perfect Alex was. 'Angelic' described him best, even if his eyebrows were drawn down into a scowl as he aggressively picked at loose threads on his oversized sweater. Yes, he was angelic, pouty mouth bent into a small frown and all. Jack sometimes thought maybe if he reached out to touch him, his hand might go right through where he was sitting.   
  
"Babe, what's wrong?"  
  
Jack thought maybe Alex didn't hear him at first and thought maybe he shouldn't have asked at all anyways, as he put his now emptied cup down on floor. No such luck, though.  
  
"What do you think is wrong, Jack?" Alex snapped, surprising but not bothering his confused boyfriend. Alex's face fell as he heard the way his own voice sounded to him, immediately ashamed and worried he had angered Jack. He mumbled a quiet sorry he hoped the older boy heard over the shitty dubstep some asshole named Max had just requested. He wasn't sure though, so he scooted closer to Jack and gave him a look he hoped had come off as apologetic before pressing a soft kiss to his neck and nuzzled his face into the spot his lips left.  
  
"Sorry" he whispered into his ear, and Jack nodded, not blaming him. He didn't like parties either. Then Alex was standing up and leading him away from the couch, earning the pair a few wolf whistles from a small group of people Alex had been casting nervous glances to throughout the night. Before Jack knew where they were going, he was being shooed into a room and pressed softly against the door when they were both inside.  
  
Alex wanted to say something, he really did. But he was sorry for snapping, and sorry for being such a killjoy, so he wanted to apologize the only way he could think of right then. He captured Jacks lips in a hard kiss, and then he dropped to his knees.  
  
"Woah, woah, woah" Jack said, kneeling with him and wrapping his arms tightly around his boyfriends shoulders when he noticed his lip start to tremble. He kissed the side of the crying boys head, aggressively thinking of incredibly unsexy things in an attempt to wish down the intense boner formed at the sight of Alex on his knees trying undo his jeans.  
  
"No apology blow jobs" He said to both himself and the trembling boyfriend. He cracked a smile, that's what mattered. With that, he dragged Alex into a sideways sitting position in his lap so he could look him in the eyes and hold his hand tightly when he asked-  
  
"Babe what's really wrong?"  
  
Alex smirked a little when a certain something Jack was trying to forget about pressed against his ass, but this smile soon faded when he heard the question. Jack was sorry for this, as Alex looked best happy. But of course, Jack was a little biased.   
  
"It's so stupid" He said, looking down at his hands. Jack kissed his lips lightly, nudging his face up so their eyes met when they pulled apart.  
  
"Its not stupid, c'mon"  
  
"The guys who's wrist you broke"  
  
"What about him"  
  
Alex peered Into Jacks eyes deepy for any sign of anger before continuing. He didn't find it, he never did.   
  
"Well," he continued, wiping away a few stray tears with the sleeve of his free hand. "That wasn't the first time I met him. Obviously, but. Jack they used to bully me all the time and it's just difficult to see them here just... Looking at me. I know I'm safe now, you know, with you. But. I don't know Jack I just hate it."  
  
He searched Jacks face again. Nothing.  
  
"Do you want me to say something to them?"   
  
Alex thought about it. How he could be the better person, say no. Kill them with kindness. The best revenge is success and happiness, all that helpful stuff he heard his school counselors tell him. 

He wasn't the better person, though.   
  
"Actually yes"  
  
"Okay" Jack shrugged, ushering Alex to get off of his lap before he stood up and straightened out his shirt. Alex didn't get up, though. Just walked on his knees to once again kneel before Jack, snaking one of his hands up his nervous boyfriends thigh. He stared up at Jack through his lashes, eyes suddenly darker than Jack remembered them being.  
  
"A-Alex" he stuttered before regaining compusure. "We decided no apology blowjobs" he said weakly.  
  
Alex kissed the fabric of the front of his pants softly, making him close his eyes and take in a sharp breath.  
  
"I'm not apologizing" Alex assured him, fumbling with and now successfully pulling Jacks pants down to his ankles.  
  
He mouthed at Jack through his boxers, toying with the hem of them. Thoroughly enjoying the way Jack was biting down on his bottom lip.  
  
"Don't be a tease" he groaned.  
  
The kneeling boy complied, tugging Jacks boxers down to meet his pants around his ankles. Not 100% where to go from here since this wasn't at all planned, he experimentally licked the head slowly, making Jack sigh. Alex had never given a blowjob, and he didn't watch porn, so he was really just guessing at this point. He supposed there wasn't science to sucking dick, so he took Jack into his mouth as far as he could go, choking a little but recovering quickly. He swallowed around him out of reflex.  
  
"God" Jack groaned, tangling his hands in Alex's hair to hold him in place. But he let him go as he withdrew slowly, swallowing again before speaking.  
  
"That's a little blasphemous. Wouldn't you say, Jack?" Jack barely caught himself before he laughed at this, Alex had _no_ idea. For some fucked up reason, this turned him on even more, especially as Alex locked eyes with him again as he licked Jack from base to tip.  
  
"Fuck, okay." Jack gasped, weighing his options momentarily. He pulled Alex's mouth off of his cock, almost groaning again at the look of want in Alex's eyes. His tousled hair and spit slick lips. He reached behind him to lock the door,  watching Alex long enough to notice him smirk as the sound echod through the room.  
  
"What happened to my shy Alex?" Jack asked playfully, pulling Alex up and leading him over to a bed that probably belonged to Josh- if the framed pictures of he and Oliver and numerous football trophies were anything to go by.  
  
"I don't know" Alex said, kicking off his shoes and jeans in the same manner Jack had moments before. He seemed a little hesitant about removing his shirt, but did before scooting farther into poor Josh's bed. "I was hoping you were getting ready to fuck him out of me"  
  
Jack didn't need to be asked twice. He removed his own shirt, leaving him completely naked in this strangers room and as if they weren't being disrespectful enough, he s browsed through Josh's top drawer until he found what he needed. He opened the bottle of... Strawberry heating and cooling lubricant? It would have to do, he thought. Seemed a little unnecessary to him, but whatever got the job done. He squirted the liquid on his fingers, forgetting Alex's boxers were still on. He turned over and leaned down, succeeding in dragging Alex's boxers down with his teeth, within a margin of error.  
  
Alex whined, pushing them the rest of the way off and spreading his legs for Jack to lay between. He didn't waste much time, laying his head on Alex's bare hip as he entered a slick finger into him, Alex hissed softly. He used extra lubricant, seeing as though he really didn't know much about this brand. He didn't know much about sex in general to know if that sort of thing even mattered. It made it much easier to add a second finger, though. Alex was pushing back down on his fingers now and was a writhing mess by the time he added the third. He repositioned himself so his head was between Alex's legs, so he could see his fingers sliding in and out of him. It was so obsene it made him ache.  
  
"N-Not enough. Fuck. Jack please."  
  
He removed his fingers slowly, watching a drop of lube drip out of Alex. He didn't think before he inched forward to lick it clean. Yep, strawberry. Jack changed his mind, he would definitely need to get this when he got back home.   
  
Meanwhile Alex couldn't help but let a tiny scream pass through his lips, eyebrows furrowed in equal amounts of pleasure and confusion. He didn't have time to recover before Jack was lining up and pushing into him roughly, slamming all the way in to him in one thrust.   
  
The scream he let out this time wasn't tiny, and he found himself once again thankful for the shitty music that always seemed to be playing when he and Jack did this. He placed his shaky hands on the small of Jacks back, dragging his nails down the exposed skin. Jack all but growled in his ear.  
   
He let his eyes roll back and inhaled sharply as Jack hit that certain spot inside him, over and over again. He wasn't letting up, going harder and faster as his moans got louder and longer.  
  
"Oh god, Jack" he moaned. He was so close, so so close and he hadn't even been touched yet. As if Jack had read his mind, he reached a hand down between them, pumping him in pace with the thrusts. He didn't make it another ten seconds before he was coming all over both of their stomachs. Exhausted, Alex let his arms drop down to Jacks waist. His thrusts had become erratic, he was about to pull out and finish himself off when he felt Alex's breath on his ear.  
  
"Cum for me, Jack. Cum in my ass, God I need you to"  
  
"Shit" was all Jack could say before he did just that, collapsing on Alex in exhaustion before he realized just where he was again.  
  
Jack kissed Alex's lips softly.  
  
"C'mon angel, we're about to make an awful first impression."  
  
They did, but not just because they fucked in Josh and Olis bed. But because halfway down the hall Jack realized that he didn't know what he was going to say to Alex's bullies once he got to them. How he was going to bring up the topic of what they did to Alex and how they were going to pay for it.   
  
By the time the got back to the main room, he knew he wouldn't have to bring it up. Josh and Oliver were close to the group in question, looking awfully uncomfortable. Kellin and Vic were M.I.A, doing God knows what. But God also knows they had no room to talk. Most of them were looking at Jack, who was looking at Alex, gazed fixed on the floor in fear.   
  
They all had matching mischievous grins and Jacks punching hand was tired from what he was just doing to Alex upstairs but he knew he had to end this. Hopefully he wouldn't have to punch anyone.  
  
"Can I help you?" God he hoped they said no. But unluckily for him, someone he recognized as... Ben? Danny's friend, he thought. He flexed his fingers. Yep, good to go.  
  
"Not really, we were just having a bit of a laugh. At your expense, unfortunately."  
  
Jacks grip on Alex's hand tightened.  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
Ben smiled like he was happy Jack asked. In defense of Josh's character, he tried to cut in.  
  
"Ben I didn't invite you so you could harass Oli's friends"  
  
"Theres no ill will here, Josh" he said, looking back to Jack. "Danny wouldn't even come because he's so nervous to be in the same room as you, and you've taken our best pal Alex away from us. I don't see how a pansy like you is so fucking frightening. You kind of make me want to find out."  
  
"I'm not your pal" Alex piped up, almost completely behind Jack.  
  
"Getting a little confident, aren't we princess? You know, last year-"  
  
"This isn't last year," Jack said, advancing closer towards the group. "He's not your princess and I don't know what you did but I'm going to find out and you're not going to like it when I do"  
  
Ben just laughed, overly confident and a bit buzzed.   
  
"Is that a threat, Barakat? I don't know. Your mom would roll over in her grave if she heard you talk like that. What are you going to do about it? I'll tell you what I did! I beat the shit out of him is what I did. In fact, most of us-"  
  
Alex couldn't react to the feeling like a punch in the gut at Ben's words. Because Jack actually was punching Ben in the gut and all of his friends were trying and failing to get him off.

Josh was trying too, shoving Ben's friends off, shouting obscenities as he avoiding being punched himself. He could hold his own, definitely. He was a jock, a football player at that. Alex was just worried about Jack. Alex couldn't believe he did this. If Jack got hurt he'd never forgive himself, but the fact that Jack cared made something in his stomach flutter. The rest of the part goers were either staring in shock, much like Alex, or cheering them on. Josh finally got them all to stop, rubbing his Jaw as he stood up straight again, pulling Jack by his wrist to stand beside him.  
  
"Ben, get the bloody hell out of my house. You and your friends." His accent sounded a little rougher, maybe because he just got punched in the throat.  
  
Ben smirked as well as he could with a quickly swelling shut eye and a clearly busted lip. Jack had a little blood on his face, but who knew if that was even his.  
  
"Till next time?"  
  
Oliver spoke up from where Alex just then realized he was standing behind him.  
  
"Not blooming likely."  
  
Alex rushed to Jacks side as soon as someone named Justin escorted Ben outside, his friends following solemly behind. That was when Kellin finally made an appearance, dragging Vic behind him down the stairs.   
  
"Woah what happened here?"  
  
Jack broke the kiss Alex had immediately caught him in.  
  
"What the fuck were you doing for two hours upstairs?" Alex led him over to the couch where Jack collapsed gratefully, and then plopped himself into his lap.  
  
Kellin didn't answer, Vics blushed answered for him. Jack rolled his eyes, tilting his head up and pursing his lips at Alex, indicated he wanted to be kissed again. Alex obliged eagerly, deeping the kiss and slipping his tongue past Jacks lips as he cupped his face with the hand he wasn't holding Jacks with. It was short-lived, though. Josh plopped down next to them and Alex blushed too.  
  
"Don't stop on my account. I can answer your question, Kellin. Jack just beat the hell out of Ben."  
  
Kellin just turned to his boyfriend incredulously.  
  
"What did I tell you?"  
  
Josh chuckled lightly.  
  
"It wasn't his fault. Ben is a dick he threatened Jack and brought up his mum. Justified in my opinion."   
  
"Takes one to know one. In my opinion." Kellin retorted, mocking his accent.  
  
Oliver wasn't having it.  
  
"Hey now don't get your knickers twisted your problems with me not Josh. You don't even like Ben."   
  
Josh wasn't too upset about it, though. Picking his nails, just happy he didn't get any blood under them.  
  
"So what is your problem with my boyfriend?" He asked, nonchalantly.  
  
Oliver answered for him, though.  
  
"I don't even think he remembers why he doesn't like me. But I was assigned partners with Vic in 9th grade on a Shakespeare project, Romeo and Juliet. We were suppose to kiss. _Supposed_ to. If anyone should be mad it should bloody likely be me, that was half of my grade!"  
  
Vics face perked up. "Oh I remember that! We both failed that project."  
  
Josh's eyes locked with Kellins, taking in his slightly embarrassed demeanor. Feeling a little bad for him, actually.  
  
"In that case," he said, cracking a smile "I agree with you, Kellin. We're now mortal enemies."  
  
Kellin gave him a smile back, looking a little more comfortable about it all. Jack brought Alex's hand to his lips for a kiss.  
  
"Ready to go?"  
  
Rian and Zack entered, then. Flushed and guilty looking. Kellin gave them another wicked grin.  
  
"Maybe a few more minutes"  
  
••••  
  
A few minutes turned into a few hours, but that was okay. Jack was on his way to warm the car, leaving Alex inside briefly to use the restroom. He made his way around the side of the house, and a little down the street where they were parked. Something felt a little off. He kept glancing around, feeling watched. He tried to shrug it off, but couldn't. He was anxious antil he reached the car, not quite able to turn the key on the driver's side before someone's hand slipped over his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-)


	13. Wind Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What the fuck" he whisper shouted, "you're bleeding."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Artghfhhr I'm so sorry it's been so long since I've updated I've been having so many anxiety attacks and psychotic attacks and seizures and I lost like 5 companion animals in one night and just buried them it's all bad dudes!! This chapter should have had a lot more too it but I've been writing if on and off since I posted the last one so I was like. Its gotta go up. Also I'm thinking of two other fics omfg a Jalex wingfic and another Jalex/Kellic/Fransykes combo college AU where am I getting all this time omfg. Anyways I hope you enjoy this if mild violence/gore bothers you I'd skip over Jacks dream which I put in italics! Thanks for reading that's for the comments thanks for the Kudos :'-)

Alex started looking for him after ten minutes. It would have been five, if it hadn't been for Kellin and his stupid persuasion tactics. Look where that got him. The boots he had decided on wearing were filling with rain, he didn't know when it even started raining! He signed loudly, and again but louder in annoyance when he realized no one could even hear him.  
  
Wait, no one could hear him. His anxiety flared up immediately and he began trembling because of more than the cold. He thought saw something move behind the bushes a few feet away nearing the back of the house. Against his better judgement, he called out to it.  
  
"J-Jack?" And as if summoned, his boyfriend staggered out.  
  
He looked cold, scared, he was soaking wet and Alex immediately ran to him. Embracing him and sliding their lips together like they hadn't met in years.  
  
"Jack? Are you okay?" Jack didn't respond, just smiled weakly and Alex thought he looked awfully guilty about something. He wouldn't ask, though. Not now.  
  
"Jack you're not looking very well" He gave a weak smile to this too.  
  
"Here babe hold onto me I'll walk us to the car while-"  
  
Jack perked up at this immediately, snapping out of whatever trance he was in.  
  
"No! I mean, love it's raining. Look, your scarves are dripping" He reasoned, gesturing at Alex's neck.  
  
"But Jack-"  
  
"Uh uh you wait inside while I pull the car around, okay? Tell the others we're leaving?"  
  
Alex gave him a look and again, against his better judgement he listened to him. Softly pecking the corner of his mouth before returning inside.  
  
Jack trudged through the mud pooling around the side of the house and returned to the car once again. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging hard and letting our an exasperated groan as he looked to the still form lying in the middle of the road. Successfully opening the door this time, he quickly got into and started the car. Trying to avoid the image from the rear view mirror.  
  
"Images in mirror may be more gruesome than they appear" He chuckled humorlessly to himself.  
  
Alex was waiting for him on the porch when he pulled up. He got in the car quickly, more than frightened at the sight of the sky, grey and angry and splitting open. He hated thunderstorms. Jack didn't seem worried though, his mind seemed elsewhere.  
  
They didn't really talk the ride back to Jacks house. Jacks hands were so firmly gripping the steering wheel that it looked painful and Alex though that might have been an indication that he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to sit in an awkward silence though, so he rested his hand on Jacks thigh as they drove. Not high enough to be suggestive, just comforting.  
  
Jack turned to him and gave him a warm smile that made Alex's stomach swoop. Jack took a hand off the steering wheel and entangled it with his.  
  
Things weren't much different one they got home. Jack got them both changed into warm, dry clothes and pulled Alex next to where he'd climed into his bed under the freshly washed and dried duvet. Alex thought maybe he preferred it at Jacks house. He loved his parents, they both did. But it was nice not having to worry about being interrupted, or potentially walked in on.  
  
Jack held his trembling so hard he was almost _spasming_ boyfriend close until his breathing became even. He had him in a death grip, but a soft one. Only when he closed his eyes to follow Alex into slumber did the nightmares start.  
  
_Jack screamed, immediately realizing the hand over his mouth wasn't Alex's. The assailants rough palm felt nothing like Alex's soft skin and he turned sharply not expecting to be able to break free, but breaking free all the same. Five things happened._  
  
_One, Jack turned around and realized who he was being assaulted by._  
  
_Two, recovering from the initial shock- he tried to map out an escape route. Back pressed hard against the car door, he noted there was a knife pressed almost just as hard against his abdomen. This detailed his train of thought completely and killed every inkling of an idea onboard. Jack was sure if he even so much as shuttered, he would get gutted._

 _Three, he gave Ben a bored smile, almost crossing his arms before remembering his current situation. He settled for sighing in annoyance instead, a sigh that turned into a gasp of shock and pain when he felt the knife just barely break skin and then pull back._  
  
_He was actually more pissed off then scared and he wanted to make this known._  
  
_"I'm not afraid of you, get this knife out of my stomach or you won't have a chance to regret it."_  
  
_Ben just chuckled humorlessly._  
  
_"Shut the fuck up, Jack. You're going to listen to me since you didn't give me a chance to talk inside. If you try to make a run for it your boyfriend is going to have to hose you off this sidewalk and that's a promise."_  
  
_Jack remained unphased. He really did cross his arms this time, making a careful mental note of the lack of traffic on this street._  
  
_"How drunk are you?"_  
  
_"I said shut the fuck up. Pay attention I have a couple of stories."_  
  
_Jack shook his head slowly._  
  
_"What are you getting out of this? Neither I nor Alex have ever done anything to you."_  
  
_Ben just nodded back in reply._  
  
_"That's why it's funny. Anyways I know why you stabbed Dan. He didn't tell us about it, we knew what he was up to that day. I thought that was funny too. That wouldn't be the first time, either."_  
  
_Jack tried and failed at not gritting his teeth. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction but not quite being able to hide his rage._  
  
_"If you or anyone else gets close enough to even breathe on Alex-"_  
  
_"You're gonna what? Stab me?." He emphasized 'stab' with a small jab to Jacks hip. "Doesn't feel great, does it? Back to my story, usually we just hit him but sometimes we got a little carried away."_  
  
_He paused and smiled at a furious looking Jack before continuing._  
  
_"That's why I wanted to talk to you! I wanted to reminisce a little. You got time?" He grinned again, looking disturbingly and genuinely excited. "I mean, since we're both here..."_  
  
_Four, Jack heard the first car in a while coming. He could tell Ben didn't notice, as drunk as he was. He didn't want to hear anything else the foul smelling boy had to say._  
  
_"I don't think you've got time"_  
  
_Jack could see headlights. Ben just grinned almost impossibly wider._  
  
_"How do you figure?"_  
  
_"Premonition." Five, there was a struggle. Jack just figured he didn't want to hear the rest of the story. He wasn't quick enough to evade a cut to his torso, but enough to push him into the street._  
  
_The impact of his head hitting the pavement was probably enough to kill him, judging just by the noise both he and the impact made. But then he was was crushed. Jack stayed silent, even as his eyes met with a mortified looking driver. And they kept eye contact as the vehicle almost swerved out of control, It was a little too dark to make out most of his appearance, but what he could see was a pair of piercing blue eyes. Then he was gone._

_The bastard didn't even stop, Jack shook his head disapprovingly. Whoever he was , he didn't know that Ben was an awful person. He just knew he killed him, and he kept going. Jack sighed in bewilderment, and almost chuckled darkly at the hypocrisy. Only then did he realize it was raining. With the adrenaline wearing off- he quickly remembered that he was, in fact, stabbed in his fucking stomach. Jack wobbled over to his car, fingers growing sticky as his hand pressed hard against his wound and eyes averting the brain matter in contrast with the dark and dampening road. He grimaced hard, never being one to like gore. It was ironic, seeing as though he was a murderer now. Seeing as though he had to do this about...Five more fucking times. He crawled into the car, yanking open the glove department and pulling out the first aid kit. Thank fucking christ he bought a change of clothes. He whimpered as he bandaged himself up. The blood soaked through the gauze immediately and he was very surprised he hadn't bled out yet. There was no way of knowing how bad it really was without being able to clean it, but judging by the pain alone, he knew he'd need stitches. He changed his shirt, hoping Alex didn't notice the change of clothing. Then again, Alex had known he'd gotten into a fight, he just didn't know how he could explain suddenly spawning a gushing wound. Maybe Alex wouldn't even question it. He never questioned Jack. Maybe, unlike most people, he understood the concept of questions he wouldn't like the answer to. He threw his bloody shirt and the bandage wrappers in the back seat before grabbing the steering wheel again and taking a deep breath. He stepped out again, unable to continue to avoid the situation as he forced himself to retrieve Ben's extremely incriminating knife. He staggered back over to the car door, ready to step in and drive around the front of the house, looking forward to push this memory to parts of his mind the sun couldn't reach. No such luck._

_He heard a cry in the distance._

_"Jack?!"_

_He retreated and stumbled around the corner, the realization of what he had just done setting in. The fear of getting caught carrying him to the source of the voice faster. But he couldn't see Alex. Just darkness, just blood._

_"Jack! Please!"_

_He just kept running, and running. The voice became all encompassing, the dark seemed to swallow him._

_"Jack!" The voice begged. "Jack, Please! Wake up!"_

So he did.

"Jack!" Alex whispered, gently shaking Jacks shoulder. He let out a relieved breath when his eyes finally cracked open, even if they were wide and frightened. Even if the love of his life was breaking out in cold sweats and whimpering in his sleep, he was just glad he woke up again. He leaned down to kiss his forehead, expecting him to flinch away. He didn't, Alex slid one of his arms around Jacks middle, withdrawing it when he felt something wet on his palm. He brought his hand from under the covers, they came up red. He gasped in shock, looking to a dazed demeanored Jack in horror.

"What the fuck" he whisper shouted, "you're bleeding."

Jack did not respond. He peeled the covers off Jack almost completely, surprised to see the red liquid completely soaking the fabric over his abdomen.

"Holy shit."

Alex was no doctor, but he had very- _very_ extensive knowledge and experience with dressing wounds... and he knew this was a bad idea. He _knew_ it was but he couldn't make it to the hospital like this and Jack hated doctors. As he reached into the second drawer of his nightstand, he hoped Jack was too out of it to comprehend or feel what Alex had to do next.

Jack made little to no sound or movement as Alex removed the bandage and exposed the wound. He automatically replaced them with a wad of gauze to stop the bleeding which luckily wasn't _that_ bad now. He cleaned and sterilized it, carefully. Trying his best to be his gentlest. 

"Close your eyes, Jack." Alex warned, giving his boyfriends hand a quick squeeze, then bringing it to his mouth for a kiss.

He didn't object when the morticians son began to stitch the wound, but he held his hand in a vice grip. One that became desperately stronger as Alex tried to leave the bed after correctly dressing it this time. He didn't laugh at his fear, though. Just let Jack pull him down to kiss him, soft and pleading.

Alex eventually pulled back, just by a little. Stroking Jacks face reassuringly. 

"I'm just going to go throw the bandages away, and get a cold towel. That alright?"

The older boy hesitantly nodded, not having much of a choice. But soon Alex was back, like he said. He gently dabbed Jacks pale face with the cold towel, giving him soft kisses on the mouth as he did. When he was done, he just let the cloth drop to the floor, immediately embracing his frightened partner.

"Jack" he whispered, running his hand through the other boys brown hair. "Jay, I'm here. I love you."

Jack smiled, feeling safe as Alex buried his face into his neck. He wrapped his arms around his lower back, letting his scent instead of the dark consume him as he slipped into slumber once again. Right after he replied with a quiet-

"I love you too."


	14. & Watch Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe I started the actual plot like 13 chapters in. Lowkey proud of the buildup I usually rush right into shit and I still think I'm going too fast. Story progression isn't my strong point sorry. If I make any grammatical mistakes or spelling errors just punch me right in my face! Actually don't do that I just stretched my septum punch me in the throat or something xoxo hope you enjoy this chapter
> 
> P.S I totally put Josh in here JUST to be a cop because of the Motionless In White cops episode I asked myself at lesat 10 times if I really wanted to put him in this story EACH time I said no and I still did it lmfao

The next morning, everything was thankfully back to normal. Alex hummed lightly to himself, dressed comfortably in a pair of Jacks shirt and boxers as he made his way back to his boyfriends room with some PB&J's.   
  
"Goodmorning, handsome" he sing songed, smiling brightly as he climbed back into bed with his sleepy lover.   
  
Jack agreed with a loud yawn, stretching his arms over his head. It was a great morning. He let his arms wrap around Alex's waist as they came down, and his face split into a cheezy grin. Jacks eyes fell to the plate of sandwiches.  
  
"Some for me?"  
  
"'Course" Alex confirmed. "There's four. You take two and I'll take two?"  
  
Jack laughed, scoping out a good angle to start devouring the sandwich from.  
  
"You know, Alex. I'm not one to brag, but I _am_ in calculus. I know what half of two is."  
  
"Oh, sure" Alex giggled. "You're a regular mathematician"  
  
This time when Jack laughed, a little jelly fell out of his mouth.  
  
"And you're a regular Martha Stewart."  
  
Alex shot him a playful glare.  
  
"Martha Stewert? Why can't I be, say, Gordon Ramsay?"  
  
Jack just snorted at this finishing the sandwich in what was probably only two more bites.  
  
"Because we both hate Ramsay."  
  
The younger boy just hummed thoughtfully.   
  
"True." Then he clicked a button on the remote Jack hadn't even fucking noticed he was holding and the television automatically played the channel Jack was _avoiding_.  
  
He shouldn't have taken Alex back here. He should have slept over at his house with him where there wasn't a TV. Jack knew this was it. He knew Alex would start putting the pieces together and turn him in as soon as he heard-  
  
"The streak of misfortune continues in Baltimore with a 17 year old teen found dead the night of what seemed to be a highschool block party."  
  
Jack hoped Alex wouldn't notice the sweat that must have been pouring off of him in that moment. His eyes were glued to the TV and his face was completely unreadable as the newscaster continued.  
  
"Young Ben Bruce seems to be the victim of a hit and run incident, but the driver has yet to be found. The case looks simple and solved, and it would be- had it not been for a second persons blood on scene, according to Baltimore police."  
  
Jack probably visibly grimaced. If he did, Alex noticed. He didn't comment yet, though. The man wasn't done.  
  
"We can only wonder if this crime is somehow linked to the case of arson involving Sacred Hearts Cemetery- one of the only two Cemetaries within the area -that took place just a few days ago.   
  
If there are subjects to either heinous crime, their names haven't been released yet.... Now onto weather-"  
  
Alex switched it off immediately, eyebrows furrowed together like he was remembering something. By the time he finally made eye contact with Jack, the doorbell rang. Jack jumped up immediately, thanking God- or, well, probably not God. Probably Satan or something from getting him out of that mess, for even a moment. His gratitude faded completely when he saw, or rather when he _felt_ who was at the door. Kellin and Vic pushed themselves inside his house shutting the door behind them too quickly for this to be a friendly visit.  
  
Kellin even went as far as to shut all the blinds in the house, which, wasn't incognito. But at least the question of the topic at hand wouldn't be a surprise. They both just stared at him blankly, seemingly looking him over.  
  
"Listen," Kellin started. "We're your friends...So like I said don't tell us shit."  
  
"What makes you think I did this? How did you even get over here so quick?!"  
  
Kellin crossed his arms. "It's been on the news all night. You're lucky Josh's dad is a cop."  
  
"Josh's dad is a cop? Josh isn't even American!"  
  
Vic cut in now, looking like he just woke up.  
  
"Where's Alex?"  
  
Jack scoffed incredulously, "Why? Are you afraid I killed him too?"  
  
Kellin covered his ears dramatically.  
  
"That wasn't a confess- Alex is in my room, Vic."   
  
He didn't know why he was getting so defensive, he really did kill Ben. But they didn't know that! What happened to trust and all those other pillars of a good friendship they showed him in psych class?  
  
"The circumstances are not looking good for you right now. Everyone at that party knows that you and Ben had a fight-"  
  
"Almost _everyone_ at that party fought with Ben!"  
  
"You instigated it."  
  
"I didn't!"  
  
Kellin raised an eyebrow, but continued.  
  
"Then everyone saw that you, apart from Ben and his 'posse'," he echoed in air quotes "were the first ones to leave."  
  
Okay so this did look awful and, how was he not a suspect?  
  
"The only reason you're not a suspect is again because Josh's dad is a cop. We rushed over because Vic said that Oli said that Josh heard his _Dad_ say that his BOSS said that they had to come talk to you."  
  
"Fuck" Jack whispered. "Do you know when they're coming?"  
  
"Well Vic said that Oli said-"  
  
" _Kellin_ what time?"  
  
Kellin just rolled his eyes and glanced down at his watch. Not able to relay an answer before they heard sirens and a car pull into Jacks driveway. Holy shit.  
  
"I'd say right about now." Kellin walked away in the same direction Vic did just minutes before, and Jack was wondering how he could have been so careless last night. The cars were loud and blaring, Vic and Alex no doubt heard it.  
  
"Why the sirens?" He asked no one but himself. He was already opening the door by the time they started to knock.  
  
"Baltimore Police Department" The quite young looking man stated, already pushing into Jacks house like quite a lot of people seemed to be doing today. "I'm Lieutenant Balz and I'm here to ask you a few questions."  
  
Jack wouldn't laugh at this sinister looking man's last name because it wasn't funny right now. His hand was resting comfortably on a gun on his hip and he might not find it so amusing.  
  
But then the man plopped down in the easy chair across from the couch in a way that was just much to comfortable for him to be a cop. Was he being punked?  
  
Lieutenant Balz crossed his in the chair, and then folded his hand over his knee. Jack didn't realize he was still standing up until the man gave him an expecting smile. A smile that turned into a smirk as Jack took a seat in the middle of the couch.  
  
"First question," The cop drawled. "Have you been a bad boy, Jack?"  
  
Jacks eyebrows furrowed immediately and If he thought he knew what was going on before, he didn't know now.  
  
He croaked out a "What?" But the cop was doubled over in the chair laughing much to hard at his own joke and Jack cracked a smile if only to not to ruin whatever good mood this odd cop was in.  
  
"Let me specify" He said, finally. Wiping tears from his eyes. "I'm Lieutenant Joshua Balz...and Josh Franceschis friend."  
  
Jack did smile now, more than relieved that he may not be dragged away to prison. A convicted felon. A monster in Alex's eyes.  
  
"You're not here to arrest me?"  
  
Josh giggled, he fucking _giggled_. Jack refused to believe he was actually a cop but he wasn't about to argue with anyone with a gun.  
  
"Well, I could, if you're into that." Joshua winked.   
  
"I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that" Jack laughed  
  
Joshua just grinned wider, uncrossing his legs just to cross them on the opposite side.  
  
"Okay I can compromise, he'll arrest you and I can watch."  
  
Jack laughed again, half pure fucking relief and half humour.  
  
"Seriously though," The 'cop' said, straightening up. "I'm going to level with you. Ben, Danny and their stupid crew have been causing all kinds of trouble for us for years. And not just teenage angsty stuff like petty theft, graffiti, and egging houses. Hard drug possession and sexual assaults we can't prove."   
  
He didn't look very shaken about this case at all, as gruesome as it was. He smiled through the entire conversation.  
  
"I'm glad the fucker is dead. You know something? I don't know if you did it. You'd be pretty stupid to kill a guy outside a cops house, and you don't have a homicidal maniac vibe to you but I honestly don't really care. Just tell me why your blood was on the scene and then I can go take care of _actual crime_ somewhere else.  
  
Jack kind of wanted to tell him he didn't know it was a cops house, but that would be both a confession and a dumb  thing to say in general. 

  
"He stabbed me in a fight we had at the party. Josh intervened before it got fatal." And that was the truth, he lifted up his shirt slightly so Josh could see the the patched up wound. "I bled around area, as I walked to my car. I parked around the side of the house."  
  
Joshua nodded contemplatively.  
  
"I think that's it." He said with a smile.  
  
Jack smiled back. "Do you want anything? Some coffee to go?"   
  
"That would be great thank you"  
  
Jack quickly made Joshua coffee with some water Alex obviously left boiling this morning on the stove. He appreciated this immensely, not waiting until it cooled before taking a sip.  
  
"This is great" He enthused as he rose from the chair. "What's in it?"  
  
Jack hummed thoughtfully as he tried to recall what he used for the creamer.  
  
"Raw sugar and caramel cashew milk"  
  
"Nice" Joshua grinned, making his way to the door.  
  
He opened the door but before he crossed the threshold he turned to Jack again.  
  
"One more thing, Jack."  
  
Jack held the door for him "Yes?"  
  
"You made two small mistakes." Josh admitted with a hushed tone, he had his hand placed over the speaker of his walkie talkie. "One, you told me you 'bled around the area' when I never told you where his body was. Only myself and the killer would know that it was on the side of the house. Two, you didn't ask me how I knew it was your blood. We hadn't run any tests, we couldn't have proved it until we took you in. Now that I know he stabbed you, we don't have to. I won't tell anyone that you offered that information."   
  
He paused to let Jack speak, he didn't. He might've been in shock. He'd just basically confessed to...what? Second degree vehicular manslaughter? Josh was just going to let him walk away?  
  
He was. The cop just smirked again, making a lock and key motion with his fingers and lips.  
  
"You're a friend of Josh and Olivers, because you're a good friend of Vic's. And now you're a friend of mine" he winked, "Thanks for the coffee."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking like Jack will get away with murder...dozen tit ;-)


	15. Lying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Alex asked, Jack wouldn't lie. He refused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very short filler chapter to let you guys know I haven't given up on this story at alllll. I got a new phone and I had to find this chapter again cause it got lost and I didn't really know what to add to this when I found it so I'll start the next chapter in a new setting and probably post it tomorrow wooo thanks for reading and commenting and leaving kudos it means so much to me thank you thank you thank you :-)

Alex didn't know what the fuck was happening. He wasn't going to _assume_ it was Jack that killed Ben. Well, until the police came to his (their?) house. Now he didn't know what to think, and what to do about whatever he decided on thinking.  
  
Kellin and Vic weren't much help, staring at him from the corner of the room cautiously as if he were some kind of unstable caged animal.  
  
Alex patted the area on the bed next to him, inviting his friends to join his wallowing in confusion  
  
"So what are you going to do?" Vic spoke up first as he sat down.  
  
"I don't know" Alex admitted. "I know for sure I'm not leaving him but as far as-"  
  
"Wait" Kellin interjected. "You'd stay with Jack even if it turned out that he was a murderer?"  
  
Alex shrugged, pretty bored of the situation now that he realized that the worse case scenario was just that Jack killed some dickhead that harassed him with his friends.  
  
"Yep."  
  
Kellin looked a little outraged, and Alex guessed he could understand why. Vic had a different look, though. A look of...admiration?  
  
"Well" Alex played, "what would you do, Kellin?"  
  
"That's not normal Alex I'd obviously break up with him."  
  
And then it was Vic's turn to look outraged, crossing his arms and glaring at his unloyal boyfriend.  
  
"Wow, Kellin" He said. "I see."  
  
Kellin rolled his eyes and looked back to Alex.  
  
"Sometimes I feel like I'm the only rational friend."  
  
Alex gave that a contemplative look.  
  
"Perhaps" He confirmed, producing his phone from his pocket and shooting Jack a quick text.  
  
•••••  
  
They met at a park because Jack, for some reason, was too scared to come home, unknown to Alex. He hadn't exactly told Alex where he was, not really, but the freezing cold boy could take a guess.  
  
When he found Jack, his head was in his hands where he sat on a tree stump in a pretty secluded part of the park behind a small hill. There was no room for Alex, who decided on taking a seat at Jack's feet.  
  
"W-why are you here?" Alex asked aloud, to himself apparently- because Jack ignored him. He could tell he heard, because he could tell his body tensed. Alex hadn't really ever been in this kind of situation before, so he had no idea what to do. When Jack was usually upset, Alex held him. But if Jack hadn't come home, maybe it was him he was upset at this time.  
  
Still, having no other ideas, the shivering Alex rose to his feet. He situationed himself between Jacks knees.  
  
"Jack" he said, replacing Jacks hands with his own on both sides of his face. When he was able to tilt Jacks chin up so his eyes met his, he wasn't crying. He just looked like he wanted to.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
Jack shrugged indifferently.  
  
"I figured you thought I did it, and wouldn't want me to come home."  
  
"Jack, Jack, Jack," Alex tsked. "You could burn down my house and I would still want you to come home. Well...I wouldn't have a home. I'd meet you at yours."  
  
Jack didn't flinch at the irony, he didn't. He smiled weakly up at his seemingly oblivious and obviously near frost bitten boyfriend. And then he waited for Alex to say something else. Maybe to ask him if he _did_ do it. If Alex asked, Jack wouldnt lie. He refused, but he didn't. Nope. Nothing. Alex just smiled back.


	16. Wishes In the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgetting about what was incriminatingly smeared all over his person was much easier in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated for like 26 days but that chapter has been written the whole time I just wanted to make it LONGER but I think if I just post it now I'll want to write more sorry it's so short omg

Jack didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to explain himself, he didn't want to be a monster, or least of all to lose Alex. But at the same time, he didn't understand. There was no reason why Alex shouldn't bring it up- but yet, he never did.   
  
Alex didn't bring it up the next day, or the next day, or the day after that. The next one, Alex was fresh out of school, fresh out of energy, and curled around a book situated snugly under Jacks covers- and completely avoiding the subject. Jack didn't get it. There was supposed to be a fallout, last week should have been it. Alex should have been scared, and angry, even confused as to why his boyfriend was so violent. Jack was waiting to have to explain himself- to scream and cry and beg Alex to understand that all of this was for him.  
  
So Jack wanted to talk about it. He got his wish, too. Alex spoke, flipping the page absentmindedly and not even looking up from his book.  
  
"Bens funeral is this week" He stated matter of factly. "Isn't it weird how the only other graveyard in this city got burned down? Luckily the graves themselves were too deep to catch fire. Most of the tombstones got singed, though."  
  
Alex scanned Jacks face momentarily before continuing, looking right back down to his book.  
  
"And it's a good thing" He added with a small chuckle, "I don't think they had cremation in mind. The church was actually completely destroyed. The funeral director called my dad, he apologized for the inevitably large and probably inconvenient increase in traffic. Convenient. Wouldn't you say, Jack?"  
  
Jack- remembering why he didn't want to talk about it -nodded, not really knowing what else to do.  
  
And then Alex didn't say anything else.  
  
•••••  
  
It was so fucking dark. Jack panted against the brick wall. Legs sprawled out and fingernails dug hard into the cold asphalt. There was blood all over his hands, and well, everywhere else. An equally as cold body of someone he didn't know the name of layed limp and still beside him. He was not getting better at this. He was messy and unorganized.  Anyone could waltz into the alley and catch him _literally_ red handed and there would be no way of lying his way out of this.   
  
It would have been so much easier to report the guy to the police. He found him pressed against a frightened girl, he told her to run, and then he killed him. That was the truth and the story be would tell the police- if he had to. He couldn't just report the guy, he had a job to do. But this was fucking difficult. For all anyone else knows, this poor innocent guy was brutally murdered cold blood coming out of the club next door; which was fine. Jack wasn't some kind of honorable vigilante. He wasn't killing killers for the sake of justice or anyone elses safety or anything like that. He wasn't even doing it because he liked it. Jack just tried to get his mind off how disgusting all of this was, forgetting about what was incriminatingly smeared all over his person was much easier in the dark.   
  
Once he caught his breath- he got up, peaked around the corner, and made his way back to his house.   
  
•••••  
  
"Well this blows" Kellin observed.  
  
"Which part?" Jack asked. "The fact that we have two days to finish this project? Or that it's 80% of our grade?"  
  
Vic sighed, answering for him. "I think it's an even combination of the two."  
  
"I don't know about you guys" Alex spoke up, "but I don't have anything to do today tomorrow or for like...weeks after that, probably."  
  
Jack fixed him with a tired look.  
  
"You have something to do because I had a lot stuff planned for us"  
  
"Well you didn't tell me"  
  
"It was a surprise" Jack said.  
  
Alex smiled meekly, flattered Jack would have things planned for them- but exhausted all the same.  
  
The project was long, and not long because it was dense in an interesting way- it was dense and boring. Jack was just glad they were halfway done. They had known about the project for weeks, they'd only forgot. So that's what they did, up until about 11pm- the project, at which point Jack and Alex collapsed onto the double bed in Kellin's guest bedroom.


	17. 1AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took so long and it's so short I've had the worst writers block so I reread what I had done so far because I didn't have a strong grasp of the plot anymore but I have it back and I'm happy to be writing it again! :'-) I'll have another chapter up today or tomorrow thank you everyone for reading and leaving feedback! Hope you like this.
> 
> * Still Unbetad

"I'm fucking beat" Jack swore, tugging his  tight jeans off. Alex was one step ahead of him, already down to his shirt and boxers. He spooned Jacks denim clad back, completely interrupting the undressing process.  
  
Jack laughed lightly at his cuddly boyfriend.  
  
"Do you want to move?"  
  
Alex hummed thoughtfully.  
  
"No" He decided, gripping Jack tighter.  
  
"Can you at least help me get my Jacket off?"  
  
Sighing begrudgingly, Alex helped Jacks jacket off. Collapsing dramatically soon after.  
  
"That tired?"  
  
"That and more" Alex confessed.  
  
_Jack tossed and turned in his sleep. He was walking through his town, but no one was in it. It was strangely hot for this season, and Jack felt a strong urge to take off his shirt._  
  
_He reached down to unbutton it, gasping and looking down to his hands when they came in contact with something ice cold and clammy. He stretched out his fingers, observing his now bloody and dripping palms._  
  
_He wasn't wounded, he knew that much. He looked back up to see the scenery had changed. The sky was a deep red instead of a welcoming and friendly blue. The clouds had dropped down to ground level, covering the streets in a thick fog. All of a sudden, everything was cold, and he could hear screaming._  
  
_"Jack!"_  
  
_Jack ran towards the sound, changing courses when he heard it from another direction._  
  
_"Jack, help me!"_  
  
_His feet burned, it was getting harder and harder to sprint like this. The fog whipped past him, making him all but unsure of his direction. He eventually got to an empty field, or seemingly so. Muddy and wet Like it just stormed._  
  
_"Over here! Please!"_  
  
_He ran faster._  
  
_"Jack!"_  
  
_He saw her then, hunched over in the dress they buried her in. Looking sick next to two bodies Jack would never forget._  
  
_He collapsed next to the bloody woman, holding her close as she sobbed hysterically. She smelled like peach cobbler and iron._  
  
_"Mom..."_  
  
_"You can save me, Jack"_  
  
_He pulled back then, looking her deep in the eyes. Dazed and confused._  
  
_"You're dead, we buried you"_  
  
_"You can save me, Jack" she begged, the colour of her face draining as a knife he didn't see held by a man he didn't notice standing behind her plunged into her back._  
  
_Jack scrambled to his knees to tackle the assailant, falling back to the earth as the figure vaporized into mid air. He looked to the sky, noticing the colour had started to drain out of that too._  
  
_He turned back to who was no longer Jacks mother, but Alex. Coughing up blood and looking to him hopefully._  
  
_"You can save me, J-Jack."_  
  
_Jack clutched Alex against his chest, breathing in the scent of flowers. Letting the tears flow freely like they couldn't for Alex._  
  
_"How, Alex? Just tell me how."_  
  
_Alex whimpered, whispering-_  
  
_"Three more"_  
  
_Before his body went limp._  
  
_"No, Alex. Fuck, Alex no. No!!"_  
  
"No!" Jack screamed, thrashing around in bed.  
  
Alex woke up immediately, wide eyed and disoriented.  
  
"Jack" he whispered.  
  
Jack didn't reply, twisting violently and sobbing in his sleep.  
  
"Baby" Alex cooed, taking a chance and trapping his boyfriend in an embrace. Jack calmed and stilled in his arms. Alex ducked his head down, giving Jack a chaste kiss on the lips and a meek smile when he noticed him opening his eyes.  
  
"It's just me, Jack"  
  
"Alex," he grumbled, voice wrecked. "It was awful, I-"  
  
"Shhhh, Jack" Alex whispered, holding him closer. "Go to sleep."


End file.
